All The Subtle Manipulations Of Arie's Bachelor Breakup Speech

After a bafflingly dull 2018 run of The Bachelor, star Arie Luyendyk Jr. has been revealed to be the true villain of the series. Bekah Martinez is dragging the reigning Bachelor by posting his questionable DMs. Bachelor Nation is openly criticizing the “race car driver.” Even a real-life Congressman is drafting a bill as we speak to officially ban Arie from the great state of Minnesota.

Of course, all of this hate can be chalked up to Arie’s disturbing, cold breakup with Bachelor sweetheart and daughter of Minnesota Becca Kufrin in the sorta-season finale, “Week 10.” You know, the breakup Arie decided to do in front of cameras where he announced he was leaving “winner” Becca for fellow contestant Lauren Burnham?

While all of that is bad, there’s something extremely awful you may not have noticed about the upsetting split: Arie never said “I’m sorry” to his new fiancée— not even once. It was a subtle avoidance of guilt that only gets worse the more you think about it. Although the Arizona real-estate agent’s complete apology side-step is horrifying, it wasn't the only way Arie tried to manipulate the breakup in the most under-the-radar of ways.

Keep reading to find out all the other ways Arie quietly exploited the breakup to soothe his own ego.

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Having The Camera Crew There In The First Place

This is so manipulative that it’s haunting. Arie informed host Chris Harrison and an entire film crew he was planning to dump Becca before Becca even had a clue. The fact the 26-year-old’s heartbreak was filmed for posterity — and consumption — is even worse when you realize how out-of-the-ordinary this violation of privacy is in the Bachelor world.

Former Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher pointed out via Twitter, “They don't FILM happy couple weekends... [So] what are they telling Becca?” That’s a great question the Bachelor hasn’t answered amid all their “Week 10” so-called transparency.

Ex-Bachelor finalist Jade Tolbert went on to call the move an “ambush.”
Lulling Becca Into A False Sense Of Security (And Complimenting Her Tattoo!)

Considering the fact, as JoJo said, Bachelor producers don’t normally film these weekend rendezvous, it’s likely Becca was nervous about what exactly was going going on. And, yet, Arie walked in to their couple's getaway and immediately set out to make his fiancée believe everything was A-okay.

He then gave Becca a big hug the moment he walked in, held her hand, and flashed his supposedly distracting smile, all to put Becca at ease. Arie even asked the publicist about her latest trip and complimented her new tattoo, which is of a black-and-white fly for the record. All of these little steps only made Arie’s eventual breakup announcement all the more blindsiding.

Becca was so confident everything was fine after Arie greeted her, she sniffed his neck after hugging him, which Netflix gem Lovesick will tell you is the ultimate sign of love.
Using Becca Against Becca

One of Arie’s preferred techniques during the split was using Becca’s own logic and wisdom against her. That way, the heartbreak seemed like something she both expected (incorrect) and couldn’t argue against (even more incorrect).

First, explaining his lingering feelings for Lauren B., Arie told Becca, “I think you sensed that.” Becca responded by having her eyes nearly pop out of her head in disbelief.

Minutes later, he added, “You always said … ‘Figure out where your heart is.’ I have to follow my heart.”

Well, Arie “I Choose You Everyday” Luyendyk Jr., maybe you should have figured out your heart’s path before you started handing out diamond rings.
Acting Like It’s Normal To Want To Get Back With Lauren

Another one of Arie’s most bizarre tricks was repeatedly behaving as though it was weird for him to let go of his feelings for Lauren as he began planning a wedding with Becca.

At one point he says, completely straight-faced and unblinking, “I kept waking up and thinking of her and pushing back those feelings … but I just felt the further along we got the further I started drifting away from the possibility of trying again with her.”

Thankfully Becca shot back with the perfect, obvious answer, “Well, yeah, because that’s a normal relationship.” Arie acts as though Becca might be wrong about that one.
Making Himself Look Like The Good Guy

Do you know what Arie believes he should get a gold star for in this breakup? Telling Becca he was leaving her for another woman to her face. Yes, really. During the lengthy breakup, Arie tells his fiancée, “I wanted to tell you in person,” like it’s a big deal. No, that’s simply the only polite way to rip someone’s heart out (preferably without a camera involved).

Similarly, he insists, “I feel like I’ve been pretty upfront with you,” which is, again, simply how you’re supposed to treat the person you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with.

At another point Arie tells “incredible woman” Becca, his words, he has to shatter her dreams on national television because he’s only “half in with her.” Oh, is that sweet and thoughtful? Not really, because Becca asks if he would similarly be “half in” with Lauren. “No,” he answers, the “Duh,” all but obvious by his tone.
Not Leaving

This is definitely one of the most infuriating manipulations of the entire Bachelor finale. Following Arie’s breakup announcement, Becca moves to the bathroom for a moment away from the self-described “monster” in the living room. First, he expectantly stands in front of her, seemingly waiting for her to assuage his fears about being a Bad Guy, and asks if she wants him to leave. She says yes, but Arie physically stands in front of her for literally 20 seconds for an unexplainable reason. Eventually, Arie ambles outside… only to come back and lumber around a sobbing Becca. She continues to ask Arie to leave, but he doesn’t for at least 10 minutes.

At one point he rudely demands she “talk to him for, like, a few minutes.” While this is not about Arie’s feelings, he’s incapable of seeing that.

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