If you ask the average pop culture consumer how Kim Kardashian feels about nudity, they would assume the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star is a huge fan of going au naturel. She has posted multiple laudable nude Instagram photos, she has enlisted other celeb pals for topless mirror selfies, and she #BrokeTheInternet by wearing nothing but a Champagne glass teetering on her bare bum. After all of this public nudity, you would guess Kim isn't afraid of us seeing the body she’s worked so hard on for over a decade. Yet… that’s not exactly true. Sunday night’s KUWTK episode proved Kim is still battling some serious insecurities, despite her omnipresent naked figure. The reality star proved as much during “Milfs Gone Wild,” after some unauthorised paparazzi photos hit the Internet during Kourtney Kardashian’s tequila-soaked April 2017 birthday weekend. While the breach in privacy unquestionably further traumatised an already anxiety-ridden Kim, it at least gave her a chance to respond to her legion of unnecessary critics.
The drama begins when Kardashian assistant extraordinaire Stephanie Shepard realises shutterbugs caught pics of her, Kim, and their "Milf" vacation buddies during a walk down their supposed-to-be-private beach. The moment Kim looks at the pics, she’s irate. “Are they good?” Kardashian BFF Larsa Pippen asks. “No!,” Kim responds over the bikini photos that are apparently far-less-than-flawless in her opinion. “Fuck. I don’t get it. I literally don’t look like this.” Over the years, Kim has become the voice of calm reason in the KUWTK world, so it’s rare to see her display such honest hostility while staring at an iPhone screen. She didn’t even get this angry during last week's episode, amid all the Caitlyn Jenner drama.
“I’m already on high alert, and now the paparazzi found us,” the robbery survivor explains in a confessional interview detailing all the ways she’s trying to be discreet after years of flaunting her wealth. “And then you [appear] in pictures, and if they’re not perfect, people body-shame you and criticise you. For people to think that’s okay is so frustrating.”
While some viewers might think Kim is being dramatic over the photos for the reality show cameras, her subconscious behaviour proves this is all 100-percent real. “I’m literally going to go inside and just start untagging,” she says. It’s notable as the reality star leaves, she completely covers her midsection in a towel and keeps it that way inside. She can’t even go jetskiing with her friends, admitting, “I can’t have fun after seeing those pics … It’s literally giving me body dysmorphia. I’m getting crazy.”
During this emotional spiral, Kim gives her most honest explanation of where she’s at, body-confidence wise. Despite the E! personality’s status as America’s Selfie Queen, she’s obviously battling some major demons. “People think I’m so confident and I’m so secure, and I’m so this. And I’m not! I’m so insecure. I just can’t take it,” she says while still hiding her body in a massive white towel. It’s a sad reminder no one is free from insecurities, no matter how many likes your latest Instagram bikini photo got, or selfies you plaster across the internet.
All of this information about how Kim was feeling in Mexico puts her tweet-spree during the trip in a whole new light. While most of her social media play-by-play were jokes — “@larsapippen tried to give me a "special" brownie and I threatened to sue her & the chef” — one section of the tweets seems far from funny now. “@JenAtkinHair spiked my Oreo shake to try to get me to not eat it because she's fat shaming me,” the famously sober celebrity wrote in April. A few minutes later she posted a video of herself enjoying the infamous shake while sporting the “piggy,” as she put it, Snapchat filter. The caption? “#FuckYouJenAtkin.” While beloved family friend and hairstylist Jen never meant any harm, it’s possible Kim actually took the “fat shaming” more seriously than anyone intended, considering what we now know about her state of mind during Kourtney's birthday getaway. It probably didn’t help Jen literally ripped a bag of Skittles out of Kim’s hand on the plane home, as we saw on Kim’s Snapchat at the time and in KUWTK’s “Milfs” instalment last night.
After Kim’s body-shaming parade, she was at least able to send a message to her haters. “It can really hurt your soul if you hear enough bad things about you[rself]. Even if you know you don’t look like that” she says in a talking head interview, flanked by longtime best friend Jonathan Cheban. “The last thing I want to have is a complex because people were so nasty. That’s what it is — they’re just so excited to bring you down.”
After over 10 years of KUWTK, we’re used to seeing Kim take a far more tongue-in-cheek, emotion-free route when it comes to her body shamers. As viewers observe in “Milfs Gone Wild,” she commented on one of her infuriating paparazzi bikini photos, “Gorg,” to prove they didn’t bother her. When she detailed everyone's exploits on the trip at that time — remember Larsa Pippen and the “special” brownies? — Kim wrote near the end of her tweet storm, “Oh and as for me you ask? ...I'm just sitting here on the beach with my flawless body.” It was a low-key, petty way to respond to all the people roasting those unauthorised pictures without actually saying anything to them directly. Now, seeing how emotional Kim actually felt at the time hits home even harder.
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