MAFS 2024 Recap Episode 7: What If You Didn’t Rate Women 30 Years Younger Than You?

Episode seven, week two, let's go. This episode of Married At First Sight kicks off with us watching all the couples move into their new homes together, where Lauren, bless her cotton socks, is more excited about a KFC being in front of her apartment than, you know, living with her new groom. A queen after our own hearts.

The couples are still reeling after Jack's revelation about his "crazy" ex, which, thankfully, a bunch of the couples aren't buying. Unfortunately, Tori has collected her pennies and is ready to buy 4 kilos of what may well be bullshit and I lowkey want to shake her and say "Babe, please noooooooo."

Soon, it's revealed that it's Confessions Week — where the couples essentially need to dish the dirt on all their messed up shit from their past. So yes, it's going to be a ride. Buckle up.

Eden and Jayden are first up and tasked with the job of writing a letter that reveals a secret from their past. Surely this will help improve their relationships, right? Then comes Jayden's big reveal, with him prefacing that "if we can get through this, we can get through anything." I'm going to need you to brace yourself for this one. Jayden reveals that in retaliation to his ex cheating on him, he decided to "sleep with her best friend while she watches." My mouth... it's WIDE OPEN.

Jayden, who is meant to be the chosen one (he got my last MVP!), then doubles down even further, saying that he didn't regret it. Dude, your new bride literally had a boyfriend cheat on her with her best friend! Read the room! Now, I'm not here to yuck someone's yum, but the issue here is that it seemed like it was born out of revenge, rather than it being a kink. "The story was gross and I didn't like it at all, but he didn't seem to regret it," Eden said in a confessional. "That was the concerning part."

Just as we thought the bestest best buds Nat and Collins were dunzo (after all, they said goodbye to the cast in the last ep), these two have risen from the ashes. "I've decided to stay in the experiment," Natalie said before knocking on Collins' door. Collins was ecstatic... although we're not sure for what reasons (Clout? Love? More time off work?). I'm already tapping out of this — please make it stop.

Of course, the best way to build trust in a relationship is to look through each other's phones, which is exactly the next component of Confessions Week. The key to a healthy relationship, I'd say! (I'm not serious, in case that wasn't obvious).

It's all fairly smooth sailing until it comes to Tori and Jack (surprise, surprise), with Tori discovering a photo of Jack proposing to his ex-fiancée. "I feel like I want to be sick... why are these still on here," Tori said in a confessional.

Later, Lucinda broaches the subject of sex with Timothy, where he firmly says that anal is out of the question. Lucinda continues to educate him on what 'aftercare' is. A sex-positive queen!

After a brief dancing montage of Richard that I can't quite adequately explain (a first, given that I'm a writer), we continue onto the 'photo ranking task', where partners rank the physical attraction of the other brides and grooms. Lord, this is going to be BAD.

Honestly, the only seemingly logical person in this situation is Timothy, who says the whole thing is "bullshit" and "unfair". YES! He also says, "It's not age-appropriate. I'm already 10 years older than Lucinda and then when we go down and it's 20 and 30-year-olds, I look like the biggest creep walking."

While Timothy originally gets the dramatic villain music, I've gotta say, I'm with Timmy on this one. It's inappropriate, and I struggle to see how rating other castmates' attractiveness will help with understanding their relationship compatibility. If we're going to cast older people on MAFS, we also need to respect their boundaries, especially if the rest of the cast is significantly younger (which Lucinda unsurprisingly digs). In a big 'take this' moment in the experiment, the two of them proceed to put each other at the top of the pyramid, ranking no one else.

With these big conversations about age in mind, we pivot over to Andrea and Richard, with Richard immediately jumping into the task. The contrast between Richard and Timothy is honestly night and day and at this stage, I'm begging Richard to please stop ranking women who are about 40 years younger than him. Please, you're meant to be one of the good ones!

After placing Cassandra first and ordering the rest of the list, he then picks up Andrea's photos to rank her in the lineup. And instead of putting her first, he places her third. "She was completely fine with that," Richard said in a confessional. Unsurprisingly, she was not fine with that.

"Every single person would wish that their partner would put them first," Andrea says in a confessional. "When I saw my photo up there against all the way younger girls' photos, it's confronting. I don't want to compare myself to the girls. It hurt a lot and I don't know how to come back from that."

Richard, you've hurt Andrea. If he's not on his knees grovelling for forgiveness in the next episode, we ride at dawn.

Richard putting Andrea third (ugh, men).

Lucinda and Timothy take this one out again and are proving to be one of the most authentic relos on the show.

Timothy, for deciding it's creepy to rate women 30 years younger than him (take note, Richard).