Why This $685 Flat Is Turning The Internet Into A Bunch Of Middle Schoolers

Another day, another pair of expensive shoes heterosexual men likely won't understand. Earlier today, iconic French brand Roger Vivier debuted the newest must-have addition to its Advent calendar, a.k.a. an Instagram-friendly holiday marketing initiative. The Rose'N'Roll Dorsay ballerina flat rings in at a cool $685, and social media is (already) having too much fun with it. Because, depending on the degree of your pug head-tilt, the shoe sort of looks like a female sex organ. (The rose-shaped adornments could also also be perceived as something so NSFW, we can't even write it out.)

A photo posted by Roger Vivier (@rogervivier) on

Gutter-minded internet trolls are going off in the comments section of the post on Roger Vivier's account, as Footwear News reported. The brand is monitoring deleting these comments, of course, but we sort of can't stop the inner child in us from giggling uncontrollably. Because it's like, yeah, it kind of (definitely) looks like a vulva. (Or that other thing.) But, hey, we can also see the badass hidden message behind these fancy flats. What's so taboo about vulva shoes? Could these just be another way fashion is helping us unleash our inner feminist? Who knows. (Maybe Tove Lo knows, actually.) But for those who are into that sort of thing — you know, style choices inspired by the human anatomy, like, perhaps, wearing a vagina proudly on your chest — these shoes are perfect. Because what if your favorite flower is a rose? (Or if you've got a hankering for gardening?) Because no matter your reason for shelling out some serious cash on a pair of ballerina flats, these shoes are certainly making a statement. And isn't that the goal of this whole fashion thing, anyway?

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