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These Quiet Vibrators Will Help You Masturbate In Peace
Kasandra Brabaw
One of the biggest challenges of living in New York City — besides the unreliable subways — is the complete lack of personal space. When rent for a tiny apartment is so astronomical, you end up in weird situations like living in a one bedroom apartment with your ex-girlfriend who's luckily still your best friend and making a make-shift bedroom out of the living room (and yes, I'm talking about me).
Because I live in such a strange setup and the walls in my apartment are paper-thin, I've found myself gravitating toward the quieter sex toys in my bedside drawer — or trying to muffle the sound with my blankets when I inevitably forget to charge those ones. But it's not just New Yorkers who find themselves in need of a quiet vibe now and then. Maybe you're also in an awkward roommate situation, or you're planning to visit your parents for a few weeks and don't want to go that long without a trusty vibrator. Whatever your situation, I've got you covered.
Ahead, you'll find some of the quietest vibrators you can buy. Just remember: If the goal is silent solo sex, you have to be just as quiet as your vibrator. Shhhhh...
The ribbed pattern on this vibrator provides even more clitoral stimulation. Plus it's rose gold, which is just cute.
The Bloom kegel balls by We-Vibe are so silent, you can wear them while going about your daily errands and no one would even notice. These little balls are meant to help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, but they're also sure to get you off, because unlike most other kegel balls, these vibrate. Slip them inside with or without vibration to change up the sensation.
We-Vibe
Bloom Kegel Exerciser by We-Vibe,
$119.00
Buy
The Iroha Mini is as quiet as it is discreet. If you're looking for a silent clit vibe that you can bring on vacation without raising suspicious of the TSA, then this is one to consider.
I can personally attest that the We-Vibe Nova is ahh-mazing and drop dead silent. It's currently my favorite toy in my arsenal because it hits the G-spot and the clit at the same time, giving you a mind-blowing blended orgasm. (Also, I've used this so many times while my roommate was home, and she's never noticed.)
There's nothing like a vibrator that doubles as jewelry. On first glance, the Crave Vesper just looks like a chic necklace (which comes in gold or silver), but it's secretly a powerful little vibe that'll never buzz louder than a cellphone.
The Iroha Plus is a discreet little toy that you could easily leave out on the coffee table without arousing suspicion. It's also covered in a squishy silicone that not only makes it softer and more comfortable to grind on than toys made of harder plastic, but also muffles the sound of the motor. Bonus: It's waterproof, so feel free to bring this into the shower.
The Mr. Boss has one of the most powerful motors of any battery-operated vibrator, but it's unbelievably quiet, even when it's cranked up to the top of its four speeds.