Here's Who The Bachelorette Dumped Last Night

Photo: Courtesy of Craig Sjodin/ABC.
The Bachelorette is about love. Yes, love, but mostly breakups. A year ago, Rachel Lindsay wept while Peter Kraus promised to deliver some version of commitment. She dumped him, leaving him a-gloop at the hotel right next to her discarded eyelashes. It was epic. Just three months ago, Arie Luyendyk, Jr. unceremoniously dumped Becca Kufrin (our current Bachelorette) at a posh bungalow in Beverly Hills. She cried and did a lot of pacing. He looked super anxious to take off his mic pack. It was also epic.
These are the Bachelorette moments we remember most because, like Tolstoy (sort of) says, happy couples are alike. It's the unhappy couples — and the subsequent breakups — that are horrifyingly unique. And The Bachelorette will serve us 27 breakups this season, presuming Becca Kufrin doesn't ditch the whole crew like Brad Womack did. Kufrin has 28 suitors, all of them various shades of Gaston from Beauty & the Beast. Each week, Kufrin will date a few of them. She'll decide which ones she doesn't like, and she'll discard them, one by one. Here, every Monday night, we'll recall each painful Bachelorette breakup.
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Editor's Note: An earlier version of this story misattributed a quote about happy couples to Anton Chekhov. It was Tolstoy, not Chekhov, who said that all happy families are alike.
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Week Nine: Jason

Play the swan song for Jason, the Danny Zuko of The Bachelorette. With just one week left, Becca sent him home before his fantasy suite date.

"I came into this rooting for your happiness...so I hope you find it," Jason said, looking misty-eyed.

"I want you to find it, too," Becca said.

To which, Jason said, "Sure."
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Week Eight: Colton

Colton Underwood caused a lot of drama throughout his time on the show. He'd previously dated Tia Booth, a contestant on Arie's season of The Bachelor. He also previously dated Aly Raisman, the Olympic gymnast. On top of all that, he was a virgin, and he came dangerously close to having to deal with that in the Fantasy Suite. He is headed to Paradise.
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Week Seven: Wills

"This was the hardest decision I ever had to make," Becca told Wills before sending him home. She wasn't as in love with him as he was with her.
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Week Seven: Leo

Leo, our long-haired stuntman, left in the middle of a three-on-one date because he felt he wasn't ready for hometowns. His departure was perhaps the most plaintive of the season so far; "These men can offer Becca a... nice house," he remarked, looking downtrodden. Leo knew he was an outlier, and that's why he should have stuck around.
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Week Six: Lincoln

Lincoln thought the Earth was flat. And, in May, he was convicted of indecent assault. Becca sent him home, and now we don't have to worry about him.
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Week Six: Connor

Connor, a fitness trainer, left without ever having had a one-on-one. He had some early Lincoln drama, but other than that, didn't leave an impression.
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Week Six: Chris

After much ado about, ultimately, nothing, Becca sent Chris home for being too damn meddlesome. He went to her hotel room, seeking absolution, and Becca wasn't interested. Farewell, Chris! Judging by your dramatic tendencies, you're going to end up on Paradise. See you on the beach.
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Week Five: John

Not Venmo John! John didn't get enough air time, a hallmark of someone who, well, just wasn't that interesting to the Bachelorette.
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Week Five: Jordan

...And then she sent Jordan home!

"This is frustrating. This is annoying. This is petty," Becca told her two-on-one contestants.
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Week Five: David

On a rowdy two-on-one, Becca sent David, the man best known for wearing a chicken suit on night one, home first.
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Week Four: Christon

The former Harlem Globetrotter trotted out in the second rose ceremony. He took it well.

"Maybe our conversation just wasn’t what she was looking for," he offered.
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Week Four: Nick

The attorney wore a tracksuit to the first ceremony and, miraculously, survived. But he didn't make it past the second ceremony.
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Week Four: Jean Blanc

A rookie mistake: Jean Blanc told Becca he was falling in love with her. So, she sent him home, pointing out that she wasn't on the same page as him. He then rescinded his admission. Oops. That's one way to get sent home.
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Week Four: Mike

The hair was long, but his time on the show was short. Mike went home after the first rose ceremony of episode four.
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Week Four: Ryan

Remember when he brought a banjo to After The Final Rose? Yeah, the technique didn't work. Ryan went home in the first of two rose ceremonies in episode four.
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Week Three: Clay

Clay, a professional football player, left under strange circumstances. He hurt his wrist during a football game and needed surgery. Surgery, it seemed, could wait, but Clay didn't want to wait. He used his football salary to support his family, he said, and he couldn't risk an injury. One of the most tragic departures in Bachelorette history.
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Week Two: Rickey

Rickey, we never knew ye. The bow tie-clad contestant didn't make it past the second episode, although he did show promise. Maybe Paradise?
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Week Two: Alex

Never has a man so burly been so plaintively tearful on The Bachelorette as when Alex left the show. Earlier in the episode, though, Alex did say that he doesn't usually approach women who "have their shit together." So, all for the best.
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Week Two: Trent

I recall nothing about Trent. In order to figure out he left, I had to perform process of elimination. Trent, that's what you call a "bad edit."
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Week One: Jake

How far did Jake, the Minneapolis native, make it? Only about halfway into the night. Becca sent him home after questioning his intentions. Jake insisted he really liked Becca. Becca insisted that Jake and she had met several times, and he'd never made a move. Bye, Jake!
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Week One: Kamil

The "social media participant" is no longer. How's that for influencers doing well on The Bachelorette?

"I'm really embarrassed," he said on his plank walk. "I fucking lost to a chicken."
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Week One: Joe

The grocery store owner? Not the grocery store owner! Becca sent him home despite the fact that he loves watermelons.
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Week One: Darius

Darius, who showed up on AFTR in March, didn't make it past the first night.
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Week One: Chase

And, after all that, Chase went home. He encountered drama on the first night after Chris, another contestant, accused him of not being there for the "right reasons." No one knows what that means anymore, but Becca wasn't having it. Whatever it was.
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Week One: Grant

Grant sort of looks like Matt Damon. He is not, alas, Matt Damon-ish enough to stay.
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Week One: Christian

Christian, Christian, Christian. I don't remember a solitary thing about Christian from the episode.
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Week Ten: Blake

Bye-bye, Blake! Blake wept into a towel after Becca sent him home, immortalizing the towel-weep. (Would that we all got towels when we got dumped.) On his way out, he told Becca that he really, really did love her. Oh, boy. Blake was in love.
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