Should You Smoke Weed On A First Date?

Photographed by Rachel Cabitt.
Planning the logistics of a first date can be tough, and deciding to do it on the high holy day of 4/20 can make things more complicated. If you're swiping through your dating apps in hopes of finding a 420-friendly suitor to spark some love today, there are a few things you should consider before you ask them to burn. First things first: Do you even want to get high with them?
To answer this question, you should do some introspective pondering about why you like to smoke weed, says Molly Peckler, CEO of Highly Devoted, a cannabis-friendly coaching and matchmaking firm. "If you understand why you do it and how it enhances your life, it's easier to communicate that to your partner," she says. Maybe you smoke recreationally before you go out, and like to be high in social scenarios. Perhaps you smoke pot every night to fall asleep, because it makes you lethargic. Or you could be someone who really loves smoking and will only be with someone else who smokes, too. Figure that out first, then take your potential partner's pulse on their weed use.
"If you're unsure if someone's a cannabis user, bring it up in a compassionate way," Peckler says. Mention a weed-positive story that you read recently (ahem), like, Did you know that some weed strains are designed to make people orgasm better? Or, slightly less sexually explicit, Did you hear those stories about how cannabis is being used to treat epilepsy? There's a good chance that, from there, you'll jump into a conversation about your own weed habits. "All these things are interesting, and just posing that allows someone to open up," she says. If you like to smoke, just be honest about it with your potential partner, because there's nothing embarrassing about smoking weed, she says. Once you get over the stigma, according to Peckler, weed could potentially bring you closer to your partner (particularly in the sex department) if you both enjoy it.
If your date is a planned sex date, weed can absolutely make it way better for some people, since it's an aphrodisiac, Peckler says. There are even some lubes with marijuana in them that can also enhance your experience, and the orgasm-weed-strain-thing is also true. "You're not paranoid; you're totally relaxed, present in the moment, and sensations are stronger — it turns me on," Peckler says about having high sex on that particular strain.
A lovely romantic gesture might be to bring a joint to your date, Peckler says — but again, make sure you're partner is into smoking weed first. If you're worried about getting too high with your new partner, you could also try a vape pen (she suggests hmbldt, which has set dosages and an interface that makes it clear what kind of high you're going to get), because they tend to give you a more subtle high. You could also share an edible, she says. "There are tools and products that you can use as an icebreaker for a first date," she says. "You're automatically more comfortable [when you're smoking], and you feel like yourself, so it's easier to be confident and authentic."
But some people do get paranoid and weird when they're high, in which case you should just be smart about which strain of weed you're smoking and how much you're smoking. So if you know that smoking sativa strains make you very chatty and creative, but indica strains make you become part of your sofa, go for the one that you know will make you comfortable with another person. And if it's your first time smoking, you might not want to do it on a first date, Peckler says. It's also better if you smoke together and make it an activity, rather than show up high on a first date with no warning. "You want to make sure you're kind of bright-eyed and present in the moment," Peckler says.
Even if you don't have access to fancy weed products (because you live in a prohibition state), smoking is an activity that a lot of people find fun, and being high might be the push you need to feel more relaxed on a first date that would otherwise make you shook. "When you're with someone you've never met, you're not always in your best headspace, so using cannabis can make you more comfortable and confident," Peckler says. If you want to smoke on a first date, you do you — just make sure you've planned somewhere delish to go tend to your munchies afterwards.
Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity and would like to remind its readers that marijuana usage continues to be an offense under Federal Law, regardless of state marijuana laws.

More from Sex & Relationships