Once I realized just how well my body responded to weed, I was able to harness these sensations during moments when I felt particularly anxious about sex. When I was 20, a guy I had been friends with for years came to stay with me for the weekend. We had recently begun flirting with each other and talking even more despite our distance, and I was nervous to see him because it had been so long since we'd actually spoken face to face. Since I’d known him for so long and he was still a virgin, I couldn’t stop fretting over the risk this posed to our friendship and the pressure I felt to give him a stellar sexual experience.
The first night he stayed with me, I felt just as tense as I’d feared I would. I wanted so badly to be intimate with him, but my body was in full-on freak-out mode from nerves. Once I rolled up a joint, though, I became my self-lubricating, horny, weed-goddess self. Smoking transformed the entire environment from awkward to sensual, and I felt myself becoming more open and in touch with my body. When we fucked, we melted into each other in a gentle, loving way that left both of us feeling closer than ever, and what resulted was an incredibly positive and memorable experience for both of us.
In a world where sexuality is regarded as being very genital-centric, it’s easy to forget that, as neurologists have found, arousal actually begins in our brains
. General anxiety and overthinking are often responsible for what WebMD refers to as “performance anxiety.”
Sometimes, a very small physical issue that hinders sexual function is exacerbated by our minds
, which actually worsens the issue at hand. Erectile dysfunction is often caused by a combination of physical and mental factors
, according to the Mayo Clinic, and the same is true for vaginal sexual responses
But while I’ve found weed to be a positive addition to my life (sexual and otherwise), it’s still much more common and socially acceptable
to drink alcohol in the lead-up to sex, even though the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism estimates that half of all sexual assaults
are committed by men who have been drinking. I think that the reason many people use alcohol as a social lubricant is that it quells those fear-driven voices in our heads. But since alcohol is a depressant, it slows down the nervous system, decreases our ability to orgasm
, and, as the Rape Crisis Network of Ireland reports, negatively affects our ability to ask for or give consent
The full effects of marijuana are still hotly debated
, and much of the current research has resulted in fear mongering
(and very little of it focuses on potential sexual benefits). While weed can have both stimulant and depressant properties
, according to DrugScience.org, many people report that it stimulates their sensations of pleasure
. And a recent (but very small) study
out of New York University suggests that sex while high leads to “magnified” orgasms and less regret than sex while drunk.
Of course, I don’t think that everyone
should smoke weed if they want to increase their libido, but I do know that it has been a very useful tool for people who aren’t vulnerable to the negative side effects of being stoned
, such as paranoia. But if you’re like me, and you feel uplifted when you’re stoned, I definitely encourage you to (safely and legally) explore marijuana’s ability to enhance your sexual experience.