The Best Sex Toys For Your Astrology Sign

There’s no tastier cheese than the what’s your astrology sign? pickup line. How awful! How cute! How pique Meg Ryan rom-com (and dammit, that’s classic). We say it’s time to reignite the question within the masturbation and sex-positive realms of the 21st century, by asking it to a potentially unsuspecting late-night guest: the vibrator.
Think about it. Sex toys cater to different needs, and if we don’t know those needs —or perhaps want to meet them in new ways — a cosmically aligned vibrator could be just the ticket to improving our sex lives.
We’ve whittled down the best sex toys for every Zodiac sign (except Ophiuchus. She’s not canon; we don't know her) with a selection of vibrators, anal plugs, whips and more that can give you and yours a more personalized approach to some starry-eyed pleasure. Whether or not you actually believe in astrology (maybe Carl Sagan just never got pegged!), taking notes on these toys can give you a great blueprint for not only future gift giving ideas, but help decode the character traits of your orgasm. Or at least try, and have a hell of a good time doing it. There’s a lot to learn from the joyful eclecticism of Aquarius, or Taurus’ taste for the finer things in life. Lean into Leo season with a powerful, rumbly motor. Embrace Cancer’s talent for feeling-all-the-feels with a vibrator that’s extra sensitive to movement. Make like Gemini, and demand 20 different vibration settings for your 20 personalities. (No shade, we love you.) We’re pretty sure this is exactly what the ancient Babylonians envisioned for their agrarian Zodiac calendar, so let’s turn on, tune in, and strap our dildos tight for a cosmic sexual voyage.

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