There’s something about corny Christmas movies that has me in the tightest chokehold every single year around this time, and well into January. If you need me, I’ll be on my couch bingeing every overly saccharine movie about a workaholic city woman who reluctantly goes to a small town — sometimes her hometown — during the holidays only to discover, also reluctantly, that the true meaning of the season is to fall in love with a man who works with his hands and usually wears plaid. The moral of the story is that only Scrooges care about their jobs and that Christmas is really about realizing you’re in love with someone after a few days and sharing a chaste kiss after 90 minutes of sexual tension. Not only do most of these stories go against all my beliefs and values as a workaholic woman who lives in a big city, but they also aren’t as horny as I typically prefer my movies to be. And yet, I will watch them all. For whatever reason, they hit the spot like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold, snowy, Christmas night.
The thing is, there are so many of these movies that sifting through the really bad to get to the good-bad (let’s be honest, they all fall on the so-bad-it’s-good spectrum) can be tough, and a lot of these Best Hallmark Holiday Movies roundups are as white as the snow that falls at the most romantic moments in said films. But in the past few years, we’ve seen a new crop of corny rom-com queens emerge like Kat Graham (A Christmas Calendar) Christina Millian (Memories of Christmas), Kelly Rowland (Merry Liddle Christmas), and Tia and Tamara Mowry (too many to count!). So, here’s a breakdown of the best (read: corniest, most comforting, oddly calming) Black Christmas movies to cuddle up with this season.