Talking about a breakup can be bad enough, let alone immortalizing it in a book. But as comedian and actor Larry David’s daughter, Cazzie David is used to having her life out in the open. Growing up as the anxious child of an anxious celebrity is one of the central themes in her new book of essays, No One Asked for This, out November 17. One of her most anxiety-inducing experiences remains her extremely public split from her boyfriend of more than two years, comedian and actor Pete Davidson.
And while the masses know everything that came after their split, David nor Davidson have spoken candidly about the reasons behind their breakup until now. In one essay, David details the emotional experience.
During the time they were together, Davidson got three tattoos dedicated to David: a cartoon version of her on his arm, her name on his ring finger, and her favorite emoji on his neck. Maybe it’s because she never inked herself in his honor, but David said she had a hard time convincing him that she was committed enough to him and their relationship, and that insecurity ultimately led to their split. She also feared what would happen if they ended things due to Davidson’s history with severe depression and self harm. Still, she broke up with him, quickly realizing she regretted it, only for him to break it off completely via text message. The next day, she heard her ex was with singer Ariana Grande.
A little after that, Davidson’s tattoos of her were gone, and only a few week later, Grande and Davidson would announce their engagement to the world. Davidson and Grande eventually split up on October 14, 2018, and Grande is currently writing very horny love songs about her new boyfriend, Dalton Gomez.
Following the breakup, David recounted times when she’d shake “uncontrollably in [her father’s] arms” and wake up “screaming in agony.” And on top of that, some of Grande’s fans on social media would bully her, saying things like Davidson had “upgraded from Walmart to Chanel.” In an interview with the Los Angeles Times talking about her book, David said she kept imagining the couple “immediately falling in love, accompanied by audio of her baby voice whispering sweet nothings in his ear, dubbed over his past declarations of love and trust to me.”
She decided to write about this traumatic experience as a sort of catharsis, even though sometimes she’d doubt whether it was the right thing to do. “Writing about it has caused me a ton of anxiety, especially because I talk so much about hating the attention it brought me,” she said. “Why would I bring more attention to myself by writing about it? But there’s nothing that’s gonna be worse than what I already experienced with that.”
She ended up showing Davidson, now a friend, the essay, andeven thanked him in the acknowledgment section of her book, writing “Pete. I love you ... Your bravery inspires me and your friendship means the world to me.” Looks like Grande isn’t the only one who’s fucking grateful for her ex.
If you or someone you know is considering self-harm, please get help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.