The 40-minute video, titled “the truth about everything. (the wedding, jake, alissa, erika, mtv, mental health, drugs, etc)” was shared by Mongeau on Sunday to her over 5 million subscribers. In it, she details how her relationship with Paul, whom she wed in a live streamed Las Vegas ceremony after a quick engagement in July of 2019, led to a lot of “pretending” on her part, which made her “unhappy.” (According to Mongeau, her marriage with Paul is not legally recognized.)
“I feel like an open relationship with Jake was him being able to have sex with a new bitch every night, which I am not blaming him,” she explained in the new video. “I was the one green lighting everything because I just wanted to make him happy. And letting it kill me. You can only let something kill you for so long until it’s actually going to fucking kill you.”
Mongeau was specifically upset that Paul met up with his ex-girlfriend, Team 10 member Erika Costell shortly after their wedding.
“Finding out about the Erika shit on Twitter killed me because Jake and I had so many conversations where he like villainized her, and I spent so much time trying to be everything she wasn’t," she revealed, adding that she was also hurt Paul released the song "Three Days" which was about his ex Alissa Violet.
In a Q&A video on her YouTube channel in November, Mongeau revealed that the open relationship “wasn’t voluntary” on her part. In the same video, she also joked that Paul would likely divorce her first because she’s a “doormat.”
Mongeau’s video comes shortly after rumors swirled about her and Paul opening up their marriage to Noah Cyrus, whom Mongeau became friendly with after a short-lived feud over their mutual ex-boyfriend Lil Xan. Earlier in December, Mongeau shut down the rumors about Cyrus, telling Entertainment Tonight of the potential throuple gossip: "I literally just like to spend time with [Noah] and care about her. Everything else just kind of makes it a mess."
Though Mongeau admitted her relationship with Paul is “complicated,” she’s making her relationship work.
“Jake could fucking kill my whole family, I will always love him,” she said in the new video. “I will always have a bond with him that I don’t ever see myself having with anyone else. But does that mean that this is all healthy for me or him? Maybe not, but it’s complicated.”
Refinery29 has reached out to Mongeau and Paul for comment.