As the saying goes: Only three people really know if someone's cheated. And in a curious case coming out of Calabasas, those three people would be Tristan Thompson, Khloé Kardashian, and Jordyn Woods.
So far the biggest celebrity drama of the week (and the only thing distracting us from the maybe-disastrous Oscars this Sunday) is here, and for many it feels right on schedule. As the Kardashian-Jenner family gears up for the season 16 premiere Keeping Up With the Kardashians next month, the sisters and their love lives once again have our full attention. But what's really going on? Did Jordyn, best friend of Kylie Jenner — her ride or die — really, truly hook up with Khloé's on-and-off boo at a party on a Sunday? Will the two remain friends? Is this situation just "fun" like Khloé joked the whole (bonkers!) Blac Chyna-Rob Kardashian-Tyga-Kylie quadrangle was way back in 2016?
The One Where Maybe It Didn't Happen At All
As Nylon editor (and former Refinery29 writer) Sesali Bowen points out on Twitter, Jordyn kept Kylie's pregnancy a secret for nine months. That is commitment. Loyalty. Discretion. All the words used to describe the exact opposite of what allegedly went down this past weekend.
Jordyn kept a multi million dollar secret when Kylie was pregnant. She held it all the way down just to fuck her sister baby daddy??? I need some receipts. I can't just accept this one.— Sesali (@BadFatBlackGirl) February 19, 2019
In fact, right after the hookup "news" broke on TMZ, the strongest fan theory was that it didn't happen, which leads to our next theory.
The One Where Kris Jenner Planned It
This is the world's (yes, the world cares about this!) favorite theory: Kris Jenner did it. She's a powerful puppet master who knows how to craft a narrative, and her greatest work is our greatest entertainment. While it's titillating to think that Kris can concoct drama out of thin air to coincide, oh-so-synergistically, with the premiere of a new season of her family's reality show...it's probably not true. Plus, if it's fake and Kris planted it, then she just potentially ruined the reputation of her daughter's best friend. That's low. Even for her.
Now if we're talking about who leaks information as a source to publications, then you'll have to ask the Kardashian's manager. (Their manager is Kris Jenner.)
The One Where Jordyn Woods Has A Doppelgänger
This one is my favorite, and it's from Buzzfeed's Sylvia Obell. We all know that young women on Instagram tend to wear similar outfits, hair styles, and fall into similar aesthetics —Refinery29 literally devoted an episode of its Style Out There series about the Calabasas vibe — so what if someone at this party was cozy with Tristan and she just happened to look like Jordyn? If this is the case, then it would make sense for Jordyn to immediately deny all the rumors (which she hasn't yet), but it also explains why all the sisters still follow her on Instagram, and seem pretty chill about this whole potential betrayal.
Maybe it was an influencer who looks like Jordyn?! I’m sure Tristen is still cheating but could Jordyn really do that to Kylie and Khloe?! Jesus be a loophole and some loyalty!— Sylvia Obell (@SylviaObell) February 19, 2019
The One Where It Was Inevitable Karma
The One Where Khloé Has A New Man & Is Unbothered
This is my personal theory. The only world in which Jordyn could be involved with Tristan is one in which Khloé has totally moved on from him. If she has new love in her life, and she's on good terms with the father of her daughter True, then there's really no reason Tristan and Jordyn couldn't be seen together at a party. Boundaries, schmoundaries! Even though Khloé responded to a post about the scandal, acknowledging its existence, she looked unbothered while out last night.
The One Where It's The Hollywood Mediums' Fault
I mean, the proof is in the dead-pan.
The One Where Jordyn Applies For A Job At SUR
Honestly, I hope this is true. James Kennedy, resident Pump Rules shit-stirrer, started a wonderful rumor on Twitter: Jordyn Woods is trying to get a job at SUR. Why shouldn't she hand in her resume to work at the only other good reality show on TV?
Refinery29 has reached out to SUR for confirmation, but knowing Kennedy, he's trolling us. And knowing that Jordyn has her own athleisure line, fake eye lash line, and is an employed model, she isn't strapped for that Bravo cash. One thing I do know? The food there sucks.