Tragedy + time = comedy. In the case of Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, the tragedy of their breakup occurred exactly seven days ago, on October 15, a day which will live in infamy. While we’re all nursing our hearts back together, Davidson took to the stage to turn his breakup into stand-up — and it’s the first we’ve heard from him since, well, a week ago.
Davidson performed a comedy routine at the Judd and Pete for America benefit at Largo at the Coronet, reports E!. He first addressed his new housing situation, or rather, lack thereof, after speculation that Davidson would be asked to leave their $16 million Zaha Hadid-designed apartment in Manhattan. “Does anybody have any open rooms? Looking for a roommate?” he joked. Guess that answers the question!
He also addressed the breakup directly. “So, obviously you know I, we, broke up or whatever. But when me and her first got engaged, we got tattoos,” he said, obviously setting us up for a joke about how, uh, romantic tattoos are a huge commitment. “And it was like in a magazine like, 'Was Pete Davidson stupid?' And 93% of it said yes. So my boy, he was like, ‘Don't listen to that shit, man. They're literally fucking haters.’ And I'm like, yeah, fuck that. I'm not stupid. And the other day we were in my kitchen and he was like, ‘Yo bro. Turns out you were stupid.’”
That said, Davidson assured us that he’s not totally heartbroken — at least, not too sad to not be able to take care of the things that really matter. “You ever have the feeling, you’re so sad you can’t [masturbate?]...That hasn’t happened to me.” Sometimes, the best relationship you have is with yourself.
Grande, for her part, hasn't responded to Davidson's jokes, even if they hit a little too close to him. Instead, she's busy FaceTiming her grandma which, in all honesty, is exactly how we deal with breakups too.
Davidson is currently a cast member on the 44th season of Saturday Night Live, where he’s referenced his relationship with Grande in various skits. SNL returns on November 3 — and you can bet we’ll be tuning to see if he continues to turn this tragedy into hilarious comedy.