As rewarding and wonderful as being a parent is, the reality is that it usually doesn't look anything like the filtered photos you might see on bloggers' Instagram pages or mommy blogs (much as we love browsing through those perfect 'grams). The reality of motherhood is often much messier and grueling, and Tess Holliday isn't shying away from showing us exactly what it can look like.
On Sunday, the model posted a candid selfie to her Instagram page of herself in tears, explaining the "reality of being a mom." Holliday explained that she took the selfie after having been up since 3 a.m., trying to get her son Bowie to go to sleep.
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"Every time I get Bowie to sleep & try to lay him down, he wakes up," she wrote. "He is teething & has no clue I have to work today, & most days I can work 15 hour days, take care of both boys & put some lipstick on & deal with it."
"Most days I drink my coffee & smile at every little thing he does thinking it's the best thing in the world, but not today," she wrote. "I've been crying for nearly two hours, & I'm crying as I write this. I've reached my limit, exceeded it to be honest."
Though this isn't Holliday's first time being a parent, she said that this birth in particular dealt a blow to her confidence because of the pressure to be a working mom and look good doing it.
"The pressure of 'looking good' for a living is too much today," she wrote. "When your face is breaking out from the hormones of breastfeeding + total exhaustion from lack of sleep, bags under your eyes, patchy red skin & to top it off no energy to work out or leave my bed.. how do you do it?"
Holliday acknowledged that as a model, she happens to have a career that places importance on "looking good," and she understands that beauty isn't always everything, but her points can resonate for anyone who is a working mom.
"Is any career understanding when you show up at negative 10% because your kids wouldn't let you sleep & you want to hide under your covers & cry?" she asked. "Not many. I hope one day that changes & society views mothers as the flawed human beings we are that are just trying to keep our shit together like everyone else."
Unfortunately, she's right — motherhood isn't always easy, and it can be made even more difficult by the pressure to "have it all," or to have everything together and fit into societal beauty standards while doing so. Raising a human (or multiple humans) is hard enough, and it's time we stop judging moms who are just doing their best.