From Chrissy Teigen to Kim Kardashian, many moms have been guilted for not devoting 100% of their time and energy to their children — or for failing to embody society's definition of the "perfect" mom. That's probably why more than 500,000 people have watched a video of a woman named Melissa Radke admitting to all the things that may deem her a bad mother in some people's eyes. She communicates by holding up signs with words written in marker. Amusingly, an instrumental version of "More Than Words" plays in the background, and she spends the first few minutes discussing the fact that she doesn't like videos where people hold up signs. Then, she gets to why she made one anyway. "Because my family went three days with no toilet paper," one sign said. "Because I've missed my daughter's last two dentist appointments, but I've missed none of my hair appointments." "I'm so hungover from mom guilt that I'm letting them fall asleep in here," another reads before she moves the camera to her kids. Psychologist Paul Coleman told Self that "mom guilt" is a known phenomenon that occurs when women feel like they're failing to be "the heart of the family," as gender roles would dictate. "Y'all share this. Please? It's my hope that someone somewhere is stinkin' it up like me. Thank you and bless," Radke captioned the video. And sure enough, plenty of parents commented that they related.
So how does one overcome these feelings of inadequacy? Ratke reminds herself not to sweat the small stuff. "Who cares what they're wearing? Who cares if they get first place? I'm teaching the important things," she told Today. "That's what I tell my young mom friends, to let everything else fall away, but rock it — kill it — at the things that matter."