Sometimes, sex therapists recommend what they call "maintenance sex," which is sex that long-term couples have even if one or both of them isn't really in the mood. The typical argument goes that maintenance sex can be important to the health of a relationship because it keeps a couple intimately connected. Of course, you never have to have sex when you're not in the mood. If your S.O. is horny and you're not, it's their responsibility to take care of themselves, not yours.
Still, some couples feel that having sex even if one person isn't all-in can be important. Maybe you're not sexually aroused, but you understand that having sex will make your partner happy, or help you both reconnect after some time apart, or will keep desire alive in your relationship. So you're willing to make yourself aroused. But how do you turn yourself on when all you really want to do is lay in bed with Netflix? We asked Jessa Zimmerman, a sex therapist in Seattle, for advice.