Stolen Dildos & "Back Massagers": 10 First Sex Toy Stories

Photographed by Megan Madden.
When I was 22, my then-girlfriend and I bought our first sex toys. We sprawled out in my college dorm room and scrolled through what seemed like an endless selection of vibrators and dildos, some so huge I was shocked they'd fit inside anyone's body. After hours of searching, we settled on a totally straight-forward vibrator. No bells. No whistles.
I've since learned that our selection was pretty damn boring, because sex toys have so much more to offer. But when you're a sex toy newbie, it's hard to wade through the overwhelming options. Often, people settle with whatever sex toy they can get their hands on, whether they're brave enough to walk into a sex toy shop or have one gifted by a friend — and a beginner's sex toy nerves can make for pretty hilarious stories.
So, I combed sex toy stories on the Reddit-verse to find the funniest and most awkward first-vibrator tales.

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