This story contains spoilers for Riverdale Season 3.
Truth be told, Hiram probably isn't and V & R probably will, but we don't really care about any of that right now. After last night's shocking episode, all Twitter can worry about is Archie's dark-chocolate roots.
Here's a quick catch-up: After Archie and Jughead escaped to Toledo (to crash with Jughead’s mother and sister), they quickly learn that anyone who helps Archie escape Hiram's kung-fu grip will likely die. Therefore, the two must part ways — for both their safety. By the end of the episode, Jughead is on his way back to Riverdale with hot dad F.P., while Archie bids adieu to his own father near the Canadian border.
But before he flees into the woods, Archie takes the time to color his hair brown with an unidentified box of temporary hair dye in an attempt to mask his identity. (Somehow we're supposed to believe Fred Andrews made time to stop at a local Walgreens for a box of hair dye for his on-the-run son... OK, whatever.)
Naturally, fans are freaking out about his dark hair transformation.
Some dig it.
Others don't get it.
Unfortunately, we have to wait until January 16 to find out whether or not Archie's weak attempt at a disguise will work, but until then, we're betting actor KJ Apa (who plays Archie) is very happy he can ditch the fake red hair for now.