Meet The Real Husbands Of The House Of Kardashian

Photo: Jerritt Clark/Getty Images.
The Kardashian-Jenner kingdom is a matriarchal one. The women are the key influencers, protectors, and enforcers of their celebrity realm; if this was Game of Thrones, a woman would be sitting upon the Iron Throne at all times. But this isn't a fantasy world dreamed up by George R.R. Martin where "dragon energy" actually means something. Instead, in our "real" world, the famous family reminds us of another franchise full of intrigue, betrayal and unparalleled spectacle: thanks to Kim et al, we have the Real Househusbands of Calabasas.
Over the course of the past month (and always, really), the househusbands have been up to some shit, making the men in the Kardashian-verse feel more Bravo-esque than ever. Most notably, the newest cast member, the once-pristine Tristan Thompson, partner of Khloé, has been making up for lost time by cheating on his pregnant girlfriend. But fellow newcomer/hoops-shooter Blake Griffin, all-but-confirmed partner of Kendall, has been generating his own headlines thanks to nasty lawsuit filed by an ex. One season veteran Travis Scott, partner of Kylie, has been keeping his drama pretty low-key, but for how long?
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Meanwhile, the two OHs (Original Househusbands) on the block, Kourtney's now-amicable ex/co-parent Scott Disick, and Kanye West, Kim's husband, have been taking turns staying in and out of Page Six. So, let's get the scoop on the full cast, 2018 edition. (Sorry Corey Gamble, wherever you are.)
Meet the Real Househusbands of Calabasas, imaginary taglines included. *Cue theme song and sweeping overhead shots of the neighborhood*
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Photo: Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images.
Kanye West

No one here is a stranger to Yeezus. The most famous househusband of them all, West has been, to put it mildly, erratic for the past year: quietly following his wife's lead as they expand their family, then suddenly hitting the spotlight solo in a gi-normous, distressing way. After his mental breakdown, or "breakthrough" in late 2016, he took time for himself to create new music, and announce an upcoming new book of philosophy, Break the Simulation. After announcing his book deal, he decided to unleash the beast within and, uh, speak his mind. This week alone, West made millions (billions?) cringe – thanks to some "truth" bombs (his truth, not mine, and likely not yours) on topics ranging from Donald Trump, slavery, Martin Luther King, Jr., Harriet Tubman, opioids, and hoodies. Is it all just the worst publicity stunt in the history of the world?

Tagline: “Yes I got rid of my last lawyer. Why? Because he wouldn’t come to work full time."

Most Housewives Moment: West's current Twitter presence makes all the Housewives' incomprehensible social media drama seem like child's play.
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Photo: Jerritt Clark/Getty Images.
Tristan Thompson

Thompson started out as one of the strongest househusbands – but that was then, and this, sadly, is now. After a year-and-a-half-long stretch as loyal, doting, and barely-single-before-they-started-dating boyfriend of Khloé, Thompson cheated on her. This was days before the two welcomed a daughter together, ironically named True Thompson. While the Cavaliers basketball player has returned to the court, it's unclear if he'll ever get out of the dog house with KoKo or anyone else. Many secretly thought "I told you so" because of his past unfaithful behavior. As the adage goes, you can't teach an old househusband new tricks. Or something like that.

Tagline: "I put the cavalier in Cavaliers."

Most Housewives Moment: He unfollowed Kim after she trashed him to Ellen DeGeneres. She really should have just waited until the reunion and told him what she thought to his face.
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Photo: David Becker/WireImage.
Scott Disick

Long, long ago, Disick (a.k.a. Lord Disick) was the most reckless househusband. He embarrassed Kourtney on the reg by partying too much, thanks to a deep-rooted, mortal fear of responsibility (and plain old immaturity). As much as he loved Kourtney, he just couldn't get his shit together — nor could he properly move on after their final, for-real-this-time split last May. He's been linked to a lot of other women, but things seems to be getting serious-ish with Sofia Richie, the 19-year-old daughter of Lionel Richie. (Sofia once dated Justin Bieber; Bieber once hooked up with Kourtney. Got that?) Compared to the other househusbands, he's sitting pretty, spending quality time with the three adorable kids he and Kourt share, and s-t-a-y-i-n-g in his lane.

Tagline: "Commitment is scary, but my past is scarier."

Most Housewives Moment: He's been around for 11 seasons, with about six of them spent in a darkly lit night club. However, his biggest Bravo moment went down in Cannes when he flew in multiple "friends" to hang out with him while his ex (at this point) was only a few miles away on a yacht with her new boyfriend. Petty is as petty does.
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Photo: David Becker/WireImage.
Blake Griffin

Like Thompson, Griffin, who has had an unconfirmed, but well documented, relationship with Kendall Jenner (who is not gay) for nearly a year, is a basketball player. Also like Thompson, Griffin ended a relationship with a former partner (and mother of his two children) once he gained access to Calabasas' royal fam. Griffin is currently being sued for palimony by his ex-fiancée, who claims he abandoned her and "his two children, for reality television star Kendall Jenner.” (Kendall would probably prefer to be called a supermodel.) He currently denies "each and every allegation" as well as her request for money, which is an extremely househusband-y thing to do.

Tagline: "I'm a rookie on the court, and in the courtroom."

Most Housewives Moment: He was once arrested for getting into a brawl at Tao Las Vegas when he slapped a guy for trying to take a photo of him. *chef's kiss*
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Photo: Bob Levey/Getty Images.
Travis Scott

While the other Scott (no relation) is staying in his lane, Travis Scott is riding shotgun in one of Lip Kit Queen Kylie's dozens of luxury cars. The rapper, who many know best for his chart-topping songs (he counts Kanye West a mentor — househusband love), very quietly entered the Calabasas crew when he started dating post-Tyga Kylie after Coachella in 2017. Soon after, the couple found out they were expecting, and after welcoming little Stormi in February, these two have become the most mature and lowkey couple of the group. Really. Maybe all these couples need to get along are matching tattoos.

Tagline: "Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy video games."

Most Housewives Moment: Scott was once arrested for inciting a riot during a show in Arkansas after things got too lit. Basically, he knows how to throw a party.
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Photo: Jerritt Clark/Getty Images.
Younes Bendjima

Bendjima started out as Kourtney's rebound guy, but he has managed to stick around. The 24-year-old male model (he turns 25 on May 5) was first seen with 39-year-old reality star in December of 2016 after meeting in Paris in October, right before Kim's robbery. The two have been fairly inseparable since. If their luxurious vacations reveal anything about the surprising couple, it's that they like the finer things in life. To really understand the youngest of the househusbands, please refer to his Instagram captions.

Tagline: "I may be young, but I'm also extremely tall."

Most Housewives Moment: The most kept of the Kardashian men, Bendjima is living a very privileged life with little responsibility. He spends most of his days being a thirst trap on the 'gram.
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