SNL Somehow Makes The Bachelor Finale More Painful

How do you make this season’s The Bachelor finale even more dramatic? Well, if you’re Saturday Night Live, you add Robert Mueller into the mix. SNL’s parody of The Bachelor finale was all about impeachment. And just like Arie Luyendyk Jr., Mueller had trouble committing to Becca K., who just wants him to do the damn thing already.

Mueller, played by Kate McKinnon in some serious prosthetics, tells Becca (Cecily Strong, who’s spot-on in an off-the-shoulder blouse) that he won’t actually be giving her his final rose. Unfortunately, he’ll be choosing the investigation of President Donald Trump instead. The cold open pokes fun at Arie, with Mueller giving Becca some of the same pathetic excuses for breaking things off. In fact, Mueller’s excuse is almost exactly what Arie told the real Becca K. “I don’t think I can give you everything that you want right now,” says McKinnon’s Mueller, before adding, “and I think you sense that.”

While Strong’s Becca wasn’t wishing for a diamond ring, she just wants an indictment to happen — and quickly. Because who cares about marriage when democracy is on the line? She’s stunned that after all this time, he doesn’t have Trump on collusion already. Mueller basically gives Becca the old “it’s not you, it’s me” line to let her know that he’s only “half in with collusion,” proving that line works not only in dating, but in politics, too.

The truth is, there’s more at stake with Mueller’s investigation than with the dramas of any reality show — especially Arie’s boring season of The Bachelor — because it’s actually reality. While we all want Becca K to find love as the next Bachelorette, it’s all about her journey. Likewise, Mueller’s investigation is really about our journey as a country. Basically, SNL’s Becca screaming, “Collusion is literally the only thing I’ve been looking forward to for the past year!” represents everyone who can’t stop watching CNN when a new detail about the investigation is revealed.

But, as McKinnon’s Mueller warns, “We just need to come together as a country right now and stop hoping for things that might not happen.” That line could be true of reality show romances and a swift Trump impeachment. In the end, all we can hope is that Mueller’s there for the right reasons.