There's nothing I'm looking forward to more about the holiday season than going to home and re-watching A Christmas Prince with my mom. The reviews of the movie are making us both swoon and giggle; Buzzfeed called it "simultaneously the best and worst thing Netflix has ever produced" and our own Lauren Le Vine wrote that it is "an almost cut-and-paste amalgamation of several Hallmark and Lifetime movies you’ve seen before." If you're on the fence about watching this cinematic masterpiece, allow me convince you that you should see it and delve into a joke of such unintentional hilarity that it deserves its own essay.
You see, our princess-to-be is a named Amber, and Amber is a struggling journalist. Not totally out of the ordinary in this fraught media landscape, but she's really struggling. For illustration, let's discuss her first scene at work at a fashion mag (?). "Five rejection letters this month!" she says with exasperation. In the journalism world, we typically send story pitches via email, but for the sake of dramatic effect, Amber holds up a stack of her rejection letters that she ostensibly printed out. Sure.
Without giving away the film, I am just going to tell you that she is assigned to report on the Prince of Aldovia. Yes, you read that correctly: Aldovia, a fictional European country, made up by mashing together the names of the entirely real countries, Albania and Moldova. Creative!
Amber's escapades involves an Ever After-meets-Aladdin-level fake identity ruse as she hungrily pursues a story. Like any enterprising journalist, she takes notes. Here are those...notes.
If this seems like a reportage stream of consciousness, that's because it is. While we don't know her ~journalistic process~, we can tell you that these notes are, well, not evidence of the most complex thought about her story. I mean, "Have to find out!!!" and "I have to dig deeper"? Yes, if you are a journalist, you should always do those things. Amber, as much as we love her, isn't quite at Barbara Walter's level of skill.
Fans on Twitter cracked up over Amber's notes just as much as we did.
This fan compared it to Gossip Girls' detailed note-taking.
What's the real story here?
Amber's notes are so ephemeral they don't even add to the word count.
Democracy dies in darkness.