Game Of Thrones Finally Delivered Its Most Feminist Sex Scene

Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
Game Of Thrones is a show that was practically built on sex. Before fans were invested in the complex political machinations of Westeros and all of its epic storylines, they were probably drawn in by all of the titillating sexposition on screen. There’s been good sex, bad sex, and "sex" that was actually rape. After seven years of all of those naked breasts, butts, and the rare penis, Game Of Thrones finally gave us the pinnacle of its feminist sex scenes with season 7 episode "Stormborn." Of course, I’m talking about the moment Westeros’s sweetest couple, Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel) and Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson), finally deal with their sexual tension, which has been simmering since season 4.
Every single part of the Greyssandei sex scene proves both halves of the would-be couple are equals. Before leaving for battle, Grey Worm explains Missandei is his "weakness" — a problem he’s never had before — and kisses the object of his affection. Then, he pulls back. Since the former slave was castrated as a young boy and forced into an obsessive level of military training, he has no experience with women. So, he ends the make out session, unsure of his next move and concerned he may have insulted Missandei by finally being so forward. This decision gives the queen’s advisor the chance to undo her own dress, proving to Grey Worm she’s choosing him, despite his status as a eunuch. Grey Worm continues to allow Missandei to drive the action, as she pulls off the Unsullied warrior’s shirt. In the lead up to the hookup, Grey Worm barely moves because he’s desperate to understand what, exactly, Missandei actually wants.
The only time Grey Worm does move, is to block his love interest from removing his pants, since he doesn’t want anyone else to see the results of his castration. The short conversation the duo have about the soldier dropping trou is progressive for two big reasons. First of all, it’s inclusive in a way we rarely see on television to people who have experienced genital mutilation. Yes, Grey Worm’s entire package was stolen from him by the barbaric institution of slavery, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love or sexual pleasure, if that’s what he so desires. Grey Worm might not have a penis, yet that doesn’t make him any less of a man in Missandei's eyes. The other reason the conversation is laudable is thanks to how it’s resolved. "Please," Missandei asks Grey Worm as he holds his hand over the area where his genitals would be. Grey Worm realizes how important it is for Missandei to see all of him, and he obliges, realizing she won’t judge him for something out of his control. Missandei kisses the warrior again and leads him to bed, once again guiding the entire encounter.
Once Missandei and Grey Worm actually start having sex, the scene couldn’t be more woman-focused. As we watch Grey Worm kiss his way down Missandei’s body, everything feels like a traditional sex scene. The woman’s eyes flutter backwards and her breathing starts spiking; the man's head disappears as it drops below her waist. All of this is meant to imply Grey Worm is performing some A+ oral sex, and it’s usually where a scene would end, as any form of cunnilingus is often deemed too raunchy for viewers’s innocent, innocent eyes. Yet, Game Of Thrones gives fans a surprise by moving the camera away from Missandei’s nude breasts to show us precisely what Grey Worm is doing. For a few seconds, fans directly see Grey Worm going down on Missandei as she enjoys something that’s specifically, and only, for her own pleasure. For a few seconds, we’re literally seeing a woman’s perspective during sex.
Although the "Stormborn" sex scene feels revolutionarily feminist for Game Of Thrones, it’s obviously not the first episode to include lady-focused oral sex or a take-charge woman. All the way back in season 1, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) got lessons how to lead in the bedroom after experiencing too much disconnected doggy-style sex with her new husband Khal Drogo (Jason Mamoa). But, their ensuing sex scene in "The Kingsroad," where Daeney dared to get on top for the first time, wasn’t actually about the Khaleesi’s pleasure. Instead, it was a metaphor for the pair becoming a true partnership, now bound by genuine intimacy. Someone can’t be your sun and stars if you’ve never even looked them in the eyes during sex.
The other standout sex scene that’s a forbearer to the one in "Stormborn" arrives in season 3’s "Kissed By Fire," where Jon Snow (Kit Harington) loses his virginity and goes down on the doomed Ygritte (Rose Leslie). The scene definitely boasts female-centered pleasure — we never even see penetrative sex — but the entire context of the moment is actually about Jon. Not only is it a huge milestone for the Night’s Watch member because he is swiping his V-card, it’s also when he breaks his oath of celibacy. Plus, Jon being good at oral sex is played as a winking joke, since Ygritte playfully ribs her love interest during foreplay. Just when the redhead is about to tell Jon he "knows nothing" once again, she realizes what he’s doing and her insult is cut off by a moan. It’s a clear Thrones signal saying, "See, Jon Snow definitely knows something — and, boy, is he good at it." And we aren’t even allowed to see Ygritte’s perspective during the hookup, as the camera reverts to the aforementioned TV trope of stopping at her waist.
Game Of Thrones has rightly come under fire for years for being misogynistic more often than not. The Missandei-Grey Worm sex scene goes a long way to prove those days just might be behind for the HBO fantasy epic, as it follows many other pro-woman moments this season. In two episodes alone, the series has proven Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) is the true political mastermind in the north, shown us two fearless queens, and gave Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) the most iconic, deadly cold open in television history. Is it too early to say Thrones season 7 is shaping up to be its best?
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