Every year, I grapple with the same question. It's one that doesn't have a clear-cut answer and that I am often ashamed to ask. It's a question that you, or a family member, have most certainly been asked, or told not to ask.
When is it acceptable to regift a present?
It's a loaded question with a loaded answer. And the best advice on this subject comes from an unlikely source: Kendall Jenner.
In an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians from April of this year, Kendall finds out that her stepbrother Rob Kardashian has given his fiancée, Blac Chyna, a brand-new iPad, keyboard, and iPad pen. Nice gift, right? Nope. Because Kendall had given Rob the iPad and its accessories as a Christmas present. She immediately calls Rob and starts chewing him out for his lazy regifting move.
What seems like an explosive phone conversation is actually a great lesson in how to deal with family members who are not familiar with the art of gift-giving. While neither Kendall nor Rob are perfectly blameless here, this is a very common scenario and we can all learn from their encounter.
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Firstly, never regift inside the family. That means nuclear family, and extended family who you always see at the holidays. For me, that means I never get to regift the weird ceramic animals my grandma gives me (why did I ever tell her, "Frogs are cute!" back in sixth grade?) to my little sister because our grandmother would find out and it would hurt her feelings. And frankly, my sister doesn't want weird trinkets either. When Kendall tells Rob, "I am actually hurt that you regifted my FUCKING GIFT that I went OUT OF THE WAY to give you," her expletive-filled rant is quite justified.
Secondly, IF you do regift, never let the person on the receiving end find out. How do you think Blac Chyna felt when she found out that the gift her fiancé gave her was really from his little sister? I'd be pissed. Go to the Apple store yourself, Rob.
Thirdly, don't post on social media that you regifted the gift. This feels obvious, but hey. Just a reminder. As Kendall says, "There are some things that are just not cool and I don't think this is cool."
Fourthly, even if someone regifts a present you gave them, you still cannot just ask for it back. Sorry, Kendall. When she tells Rob, "If you're not going to use it, then I actually still have someone who is actually dying for it" and, "Bible: I want my iPad, my keyboard, and my pen back" — that's no good. You can't regift the regifted gift! The iPad has been tainted. (Also, you're a millionaire, so it's fine.)
Lastly, think twice before starting a fight over a regifted gift.
Or just get them coal.
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