The year is 2000, and Carrie Fisher's friend, Heather Ross, was meeting with a unnamed Hollywood producer for dinner. He picked her up in his car. "It wasn't anything romantic at all," describes Ross, on Tuscon's radio 94.9 MixFM station. The producer then sexually assaulted her in his car. "It happened so quickly that I was ashamed of myself, I thought I did something wrong," she explains, echoing the emotions of so many survivors. "I kept quiet for years."
Ross was shaken, and confided in Carrie Fisher about the incident. Fisher, a Hollywood legend in her own right, was afraid for her friend's safety. One of Fisher's most enduring charms is that she famously did not give a single fuck, and what happens next puts that clearly in display.
"About two weeks later, she sends me a message online, and says "I saw [the unamed producer] at Sony Studios. I knew he would probably be there, so I went to his office and personally delivered a Tiffany box wrapped with a white bow."
Wondering what was in the little blue box?
"It was a cow tongue from Jerry’s Famous Deli in Westwood," Ross said. A COW'S TONGUE. Carrie Fisher hand-delivered a cow's tongue to a producer who assaulted her friend.
But that's not all! The cow's tongue included a note that read, "if you ever touch my darling Heather or any other woman again, the next delivery will be something of yours in a much smaller box!" Carrie Fisher threatened to castrate said producer.
However you feel about vigilantism, you at least need to respect Fisher's no-holds-barred approach to revenge. This took time, money, and planning. She wanted to get a message across, and we imagine that she did. If only we could have been a fly on that wall at the moment when that producer opened the box. Even in death, Carrie Fisher is the gift that keeps giving.
Click below for the full interview. Fisher's last film, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, opens December 15, 2017.