This all seems familiar. Oh, right. We're still in Dubai with Kim and Scott for the start of this week's Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
After Kim unceremoniously has Scott's mystery date removed by security, she and her friends leave him behind for their desert adventure. Kim wakes Kanye up with a call to give him the low-down. Her friend Simon says his heart is still pounding. Kim checks herself for stress sweat and realises she forgot her deodorant that morning. Not a great move in Dubai. Kim rolls deep in the desert, and their desert adventure involves camels, falcons, and dune buggies. She and the crew pose for dark and stormy sand shots and one of them says, "You guys, it's the cover of our album!"
Kim's behaviour and her repeated use of the word "ghetto" are problematic, and she does show some remorse. "I do feel bad for yelling at the girl and scaring her," Kim says to Kourtney on the phone. She tells Kourtney that the girl was traumatised. Kourtney tells Kim that she's happy to have a whole other day without Scott before the Dubai contingent comes home. Kim says it isn't fair for Scott to blame his behaviour on Kourtney. For her part, Kourtney says she doesn't need to deal with Scott's nonsense any longer. Just like she has said, over and over, season after season.
After a visit to the local children's hospital, Kim has a sit-down with Scott. She tells him that she hates confrontation, but she didn't know what to do with the fact that there was a woman in the bathroom. Scott claims he isn't trying to play games. Kim tells him that she doesn't want to be stuck in the middle. Scott explains, amazingly without irony, that the only time he hears from Kourtney or can have a real talk with her is when it is something negative.
Back in LA, Kim, Kourtney, and Kanye catch up over brunch. Kim claims she doesn't want to start anything, but then she goes there to talk about Scott and Dubai. "I did call him," Kourtney says. "I heard what happened and I don't care," she says she told him. Kim gives her some advice. "Where you go wrong," Kim says, is by going on those solo family vacations. Kim says Kourtney and Scott would be together if Scott were to stay sober. "It's his fault we're not together," Kourtney says. Of course it is, since that's really the only story line on the show for the two of them.
Later, Kim is with Kanye, Khloé, Kylie and Kim's stylist, Simone. Khloé gets points for her gallows humour. She marvels at the fact that Simone hangs out with Kim "after you basically got her killed," she says. Kim gets points for laughing.
Khloé is in a joking mood because she has planned the next Keeping Up With The Kardashians Family Vacation. This time they are heading to Costa Rica. "I love our trips," she says. "The point is to be one with the people, the culture." All from the pool deck of an exclusive villa. She has to do something to counterbalance all that time she is spending in Cleveland, after all.
At Kourtney's house, Kim and Kourtney talk about the multiple suspects that have been apprehended in Paris. Hearing the details and learning that some of the suspects were very close to her has given her a new perspective. Kourtney asks if she feels better or relieved. Kim says she can't go backward and that life is always going to be different.
Speaking of Costa Rica, Scott is on the guest list, along with enough other people that they are forced to take two separate private jets. The family is clearly getting a jump on connecting with the people and the culture of Costa Rica. Kendall and Rob are not on board, but Tyga and King Cairo are in attendance, and Kim says that Kanye was having a major case of FOMO when she and North were leaving.
Kris is not feeling her normal made-for-tv family vacation self since she's still fuming over Caitlyn's book. Khloe's fireworks (literally, she arranged fireworks for their first night) display doesn't help Kris keep it low-key.
Sleeping arrangements are complicated for this trip. Kylie and Tyga steal Khloé's room because it's bigger and more romantic. Scott's room isn't even in the same building. He's staying at a hotel down the road.
Khloé pushes her mom to be a joiner for all of the planned activities, but Kris is having none of it. So, instead, she steers the conversation away from how long she and Corey have been "boning" (three years, in case you're interested) to Khloé's personal life. "Tell me about Cleveland," Kris says. She also asks when Khloé is going to bring Tristan on a Family Vacation. Not anytime soon, apparently. Khloé says she doesn't want him to be on camera. (Too late. He already was in the Thanksgiving episode.) "Things are good and our lives are so great. I need to keep some things to myself," Khloé says. Honest, refreshing, and understandable. Almost.
Scott and Kourtney take the kids to a local dinosaur park. It's a special family outing that Scott planned, complete with a helicopter ride. A good time is had by all, at least on the surface. "No matter what is going on with me and Scott, having him here with the kids so they can have these memories is really important to me," Kourtney says. Scott has a slightly different perspective, explaining there are two ways of looking at the situation. During the day, they have great experiences with the kids, but then the sun goes down and not having the other side of the relationship frustrates him and makes him sad.
Khloé is also sad about how the trip is going so far. She wanted everyone to be together. Scott and Kourtney hit the dinosaur park. Kris is doing her own thing. Kim wants to lay by the pool. And Kylie and Tyga, well, they've got lots of steamy Instagramming to do.
There are more fireworks, but these are the metaphorical kind. Stephanie, Super Assistant, pops in with some news. Security called her because a woman named Chelsea arrived at Scott's hotel room. "I don't believe it. I'm in shock. Who does something like this?" Khloé says. They call Kourtney to the room, admonish her to not freak out, then tell her that Scott brought a girl to Costa Rica. "For what?" is Kourtney's first question, which meets with some severe eye rolls. "What's even the desperation?" Kourtney asks. It's clear she's bothered, but she doesn't want to show it. "It's hurtful and disrespectful," she says. Kris echoes Kourtney's sentiment when Kris hears the news. She asks Kourtney if she is okay. "I'm just thinking about all of the guys I'm going to fuck when I get home," Kourtney says.
All of this drama makes for an extremely awkward dinner at Scott's hotel. It's clear that his cover has been blown even before Kim and Khloé start talking about Chelsea Clinton and Chelsea Handler. "Let's cut the bullshit," someone says, but as Scott points out in his interview segment, no one wants to say what is on their mind. In her interview, Kourtney explains by saying, "There's so much tension. We're all waiting for Scott to say something."
In yet another "To Be Continued" ending, it is Kris who cuts the tension. "I think what we're all wondering is if you have a girl here and why?" the matriarch asks.
Remember when episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians just ended with a gab fest on Kim's Bel Air sofa? Kim's right, apparently. Life is always going to be different.