Have you ever had period sex on top of a very small towel and wished that you had something better? Well, Thinx (yes, the same company that creates period-proof underwear) came to answer your prayers with a brand-new period sex blanket. The instructions are pretty simple: When you're on your period and ready to have sex, just flip the blanket over onto the black side (the side with four-layers of period-proof material) and get started.
There's only one problem. The blanket, which wouldn't even cover a twin-sized bed, costs $369. So, is it really worth the $$$?
As my co-worker astutely pointed out: "You could buy 300 period sex towels for that price!" That's not totally true: It's probably more like 18 to 36, depending on how fancy your towel selection is. But the point is that designating a period sex towel is so much cheaper, and has been working just fine for lots of people probably since towels were invented. So why would anyone need such an expensive blanket just to have period sex?
While I never actually had sex on the period sex blanket — because my girlfriend is a very busy software engineer who works too much — I definitely see the appeal, for totally unsexy reasons. Bear with me here, it's about to get graphic: Most people who have vaginas get a period approximately once a month, they bleed for 3 to 7 days, and typically ooze between 10 and 35 milliliters of menstrual blood (that's 2-7 fully soaked regular tampons). I am not one of those people. My period shows up whenever it damn well pleases. Lately, that's been about once every three months, but at one point, my period rolled in like an unwanted houseguest and didn't leave for six months. And once it's there, I bleed way more than 35 mL. I've never actually measured it (because, ew), but trust me, it's like a horror movie in my pants. #ThanksPCOS.
Because my period is so heavy, I'm often forced to work from home during at least one day of my menstrual cycle, so I can be right next to an endless supply of already blood-stained underwear and a bathroom where I can change my soaked-through pad every hour. Usually, that kind of sucks. But this time 'round, I was actually excited, because what better way to test out Thinx's period sex blanket than to plop my naked bum down on the heaviest day of my period and see how much blood it could actually handle?
So that's just what I did... for a couple of hours. After a while, three blood clots fell out of me — because clots are another fun part of my period — and I realized the error in my plan: The blanket soaked up free flowing blood, but sure as hell wasn't going to absorb those clots. I got up, cleaned myself off, and put the blanket aside. Still, those first few hours were more than enough to tell me that Thinx's blanket is pretty baller at soaking up period blood, whether you're having sex or just scrolling through Twitter. It handled way more blood than I thought it would and dried quickly, so I wasn't sitting in a wet spot all morning.
While I still totally understand the urge to use a cheap period sex towel rather than an expensive period sex blanket, I can see this blanket eliminating some period towel issues I've had in the past. Towels are small, and they tend to move during the ~action~. Several times, I've finished having sex on top of my designated period towel just to move and see that there was a big blood spot on my sheets anyway. Then, I have to force my girlfriend out of bed so I can clean the spot before it sets. Not so sexy. Sure, Thinx's blanket is smaller than I expected, but it's still much bigger than a towel. So there's basically no chance of the blanket moving out from under you during sex.
But as much as I'd rather cuddle than clean after sex, it's the non-sex applications of this blanket that make me happiest. Because for the first time in a while, I was able to sleep easily through every night of my period without worrying that I'd get blood all over my favorite dead dinosaur sheets. I had the blanket to back me up, and that peace of mind might just be worth $369.