What Your Masturbation Style Says About You

Illustrated By Anna Sudit.
This story was originally published on September 14, 2014.
I’m going to let you in on a secret: I didn’t really know how to touch myself until I was in college. I was sexually active, sure, but I was about as comfortable with a vibrator as I was with a sword (a.k.a., not at all) and I was utterly clueless about what to do with my own hands.
Is this surprising? We tend to talk about sex a lot (Did you get laid last night? Was that guy from Tinder any good in bed? What will sex be like in space? Did you see the new 50 Shades trailer?). But, rarely do we discuss the details of those sex sessions that only include ourselves: how we like to do it, where we like to do it, and what we do that makes us feel so fist-clenchingly good. And, that’s seriously sad, since self-pleasure is one of the best kinds of pleasure.
So, we made this guide. Think of it as the grown-up version of those Seventeen magazine quizzes that told you how to choose the right outfit for your personality — except that this one is about touching yourself. Masturbation is important (it relieves stress, reverses heart disease, and feels awesome). But, hey, we're not trying to take ourselves too seriously here in the Masturbation Department. So, read on — and if you find yourself in a 7th-grade-esque fit of giggles as you're figuring out which masturbation style best suits you, we'll consider our job well done.

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