Steamy sex is usually a good thing. But during the summer months, when it’s already blazing outside, creating extra heat by getting busy can sound like a dubious endeavour.
This is a practice often invoked in BDSM and in foreplay, which generally uses hot or cold items or liquids to stimulate arousal. "When temperature play is negotiated and consented to, the brain starts preparing for a sexy and exciting experience, and basically puts nerve endings in the body — erogenous zones, but also everywhere else — on high alert for new sensations," Dulcinea Pitagora, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor, previously told Refinery29. There are tons of ways to go about temperature play — you can use ice cream, popsicles, melted chocolate or hot wax (make sure it’s specifically made to be used during sex and your not just pouring out an old Bath and Body Works candle on your partner). But during the days where it’s roasting and even your A/C isn’t doing the trick, you may want to skip the heat and go straight to the cooling sensations.
So, we asked Luna Matatas, sex and pleasure educator, for her best icy tricks to get your through the next month or so. All you need is a full ice cube tray and consent.
Here are Matatas' best icy tricks for cooling things down in the bedroom when it's boiling outside.
“Use an ice cube to massage nipples or the warm crevices of your partner’s body, for example their inner thighs or neck or under the breasts,” Matats recommends. “You can also try using a makeshift ice pack to cool your hands before you massage or stroke your partner.”
It’ll also feel great if you run an ice cube along their lower back and let it drip between their butt cheeks, she adds.
Chill your sex toys
If you have glass or stainless steel toys, pop them in the fridge or dip them in a glass of ice water to allow them to absorb the coolness before pleasuring yourself or your partner with them.
Just make sure to test the toy on your own wrist first before putting it on your partner to make sure you won’t give them an ice burn.
Bring out a blindfold
Experts say blindfolding can take the surprising aspects of temperature play up a notch. “Sometimes a blindfold can heighten your other senses and create anticipation,” Matatas says. “This allows you to be more present in your body. Your senses are on edge from not being able to see and predict where the ice is going to go next.”
Ice cubes can be used directly on the genitals before you go down (but again, be mindful of ice burn, and wet them down after getting them out of the ice box). They can also be held in your mouth while you're giving your lover oral.
“I love using the ice cube on their body first,” Matatas says. “Dragging a cube from their lips, down their chin, across their chest, down their belly, and then picking it up with my mouth and making a show of me swirling it in my mouth, and then allowing drops of ice to dribble onto their genitals from my mouth… By time the ice cube has melted, you've got a cold tongue to use on their genitals.”
While going down, Matatas recommends using unpredictable patterns, and mixing-up pressure, speed and rhythm.If you’re going to go down on them before the ice is totally melted, try to use smaller cubes that can easily tuck into your cheek. You can keep a glass of them near the bed for easy access. Before you know it, you’ll have your boo asking for ice, ice, baby all night long.