Sometimes, it's really easy to know that you and your partner should break up. Someone cheated and you can't get past it. You fight all the time. One partner never supports the other. Or one is physically and/or emotionally abusive. But sometimes, a relationship comes to an end quietly. And it can be difficult to notice that it's time to call it quits. Maybe one or more of the people in the relationship has fallen out of love. Maybe they've grow into people who still care about each other, but can't work as a couple anymore.
If that's the kind of relationship you've found yourself in, knowing whether or not it's time to break up with your partner can be confusing. It might feel like you just need to work harder to rebuild your bond. And working to save your relationship is a totally valid first step. But, if you've already put in the work and you just can't try any harder, then it's okay to call the relationship off. You don't need to hate your current partner to want to break up with them. Not feeling happy or fulfilled in the relationship is a good enough reason to end it, says Angela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT, a couples' therapist in Missouri.
"For the relationship to really be a good one, you you need three things," Dr. Skurtu says. "You need that sense of family and commitment like 'I would give my arm for this person,' you need the friendship piece where you get along and you actually want to spend time together, and you need chemistry." Maybe your relationship started out with all three, but somewhere along the way, you lost one or more of the pieces and you can't get them back.
Below, Skurtu explains 5 signs a relationship is past saving.