How To Nail Birthday Sex (& Your Partner)

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As the Jeremih song says, "Don't need candles and cake / just need your body to make, birthday sex." And sure, birthday sex is a cheap, last-minute gift that your partner might really appreciate, but there are some ways to make it a little more memorable than the sex you have any other day of the year.
An added bonus to the obviously great gift idea: Sex on your partner's birthday is also a gift to yourself, says Michelle Hope, a sexologist in New York City. "Really think about how you can make it fun for your partner, and make it fun for yourself," Hope says. Gear up for the activities you know your partner loves, but also don't forget to include some of your favorites, too. 'Tis better to give and receive, if you think about it.
Just remember to keep your expectations at a reasonable level, Hope says. If you want to jump out of a massive cake and surprise your partner, that's awesome, but birthday sex doesn't have to be a perfect, splashy ordeal (or involve papier-mâché). "Communicate what your hopes are for the day with your partner, and understand that things can go wrong," she says. Ahead, a few ways to guarantee the party doesn't stop when they blow out the candles.
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Experiment with wax play.
It's a little on-the-nose, but you might want to experiment with a massage candle or wax play on your partner's birthday, Hope says. Let your partner make a "wish," and do whatever it is that they want you to with the candle.
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Send hints throughout the day.
If you have plans to see your partner at night, send flirty text messages during the day that suggest what's coming later, Hope says. Or, go literal and send an e-vite for the birthday sex you hope they'll accompany you to later. "It allows your partner to fantasize about what's going to happen when you get together," she says.
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Eat sweets.
What are birthdays if not an occasion to enjoy some dessert? Hope suggests drawing on your partner using a little bit of whipped cream, and licking it off. But be careful where you spray it, she cautions; the sugar from the cream could lead to a yeast infection.
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Make out somewhere public.
If you and your partner are going out to dinner somewhere special, Hope suggests stopping along the way to make out in public. Kissing might seem basic, but it's one way to extend foreplay. And making out right before you sit through a long dinner will just make your partner more curious about what you have planned for later, she says.
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Pamper your partner.
Do something small that will make your partner relaxed on their special day, Hope says. Think a luscious bath bomb, an at-home massage, or even a shoulder massage at the local salon. If Thai food makes them happy, send a lunch special to them at work. These little gestures will make them feel relaxed and appreciated, setting a great mood for later on.
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Get crafty.
For those inclined to DIY a birthday gift (more like activity), Hope suggests filling a condom with water and freezing it in a phallic shape. You can use it as an icy dildo or to mess around with ice play, she says.
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Have morning sex.
Kick off your partner's birthday by having sex first thing in the morning. The double-whammy of morning-sex flush and birthday glow will put an extra pep in their step that they deserve on their special day. And then you've got the whole day ahead of you to try out some of these other ideas. Happy birthday, indeed.
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Gift your partner a sex toy.
If you're not sure what to get your partner for their birthday, consider upgrading their favorite sex toy or buying them a nice lube. Wrap it in fancy paper and surprise them at the end of the day or before you go out to celebrate. It might be a gift for them, but it's something that you'll both be able to enjoy together.
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Get a room.
Even if you can't get out of town, you can still make your partner's night special by booking a fancy hotel room in your city. Having a change of scenery and a huge bed that's not actually yours may inspire you to try something new.
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Dress up.
Technically it's your partner's big day, but you should definitely use it as an excuse to buy yourself new lingerie or something else that makes you feel sexy. Take a selfie wearing it before you head out to celebrate. And hey, if your evening plans fall through, it's not the end of the world.

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