WTF: Underwear With A Built-In Penis

Baby, we know it's cold outside, and for all the dudes out there, that can lead to some unenviable shrinkage (yep, we just said shrinkage before noon). Until now, this winter weather meant winter willies, which, as we all know, means your package isn't exactly heavy freight material. Enter 2011: The plague of the last decade will hurt us no more, thanks to designer Andrew Christian, who humbly describes himself as "uber-trendy." You might (or, more probable, might not), remember Christian from such high-quality programming as The Janice Dickinson Project and The Fashion Show, and now he's destined for even more fame with his latest offering: The Shock Jock Flirt Boxer and Brief. These revolutionary new skivvies feature a soft hidden cup, sculpted into a penis shape (available in black or white models!), that adds around 2 inches to guy's frontal measurement. "Guys want underwear that looks natural, feels great and makes them feel confident," says Christian. Right. Bonus points for the extra wide metallic silver-colored sports elastic waistband and contrast stripes down the sides...just because. Unless you're sporting incredibly tight jeggings or thermal underwear, we're not sure just why you'd whip (hehe) your credit card out, but we'd love to be a fly on the wall when your pants actually come off. It's kind of like the male equivalent of chicken cutlets. "Oh that? That's just my anatomically correct cup!"
While the Shock Jock isn't available in the Big Apple yet, you can scoop one up at Andrew Christian's Santa Monica Boutique, or online here.