For the average person, getting a little adventurous with your Starbucks order means going for one extra pump of caramel syrup in a venti iced coffee. It might mean getting whipped cream on top of a grande cold brew, or adding a dash of chocolate powder to a cappuccino just to liven up the day — or so we thought. Many of us were today years old when we learned that some people's Starbucks orders are often a CVS receipt-length list of customizations that practically make coffee look like a sugary poison.
Over the weekend, a Starbucks barista shared one of these truly unhinged orders with the world. What started as a venti Caramel Crunch Frappuccino from a customer, ended with 5 bananas, 7 extra pumps or dark caramel, 7 "Frapp Chips," and about a dozen other specifications. "On todays episode of why i wanna quit my job," ProjectJosiee captioned a photo of the custom dessert I mean drink. The order, made out to a customer named Edward (sounds fake), quickly began trending.
"Edward's" order suddenly inspired other Starbucks baristas to share their own nightmare custom requests in a Twitter thread that has racked up over 185,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.
"Let me throw another one in there for a little extra spice," one barista commented, sharing a photo for an order of a venti mango dragon fruit lemonade that included requests for cinnamon dolce syrup, cold foam, peppermint syrup, and coconut flakes. Yikes!
"Sunday's are the worst," another barista commented alongside a photo of a venti iced blonde vanilla latte that included extra pumps of white mocha, vanilla bean powder, Irish cream and...upside down?
And, in what one person correctly described as an "abomination," a barista shared what they say is a biweekly order of venti green tea caramel frappuccino with — please sit down for this one — 12 bananas, 12 affogato shots, 12 pumps of honey, extra cocoa powder, 12 additional frappuccino chips, extra pumpkin sauce, extra raspberry syrup, extra cinnamon and nutmeg powder, extra caramel and mocha drizzle, and more pumpkin-flavored toppings, among a seemingly endless list of other add-ons. This was just the TL;DR.
Okay so, hear me out: In the age of "secret" Starbucks menu drinks, I think we've gone too far. It was one thing to put pumpkin spice in a chai latte. It was one thing to order a unicorn frappucino. But to add any amount of bananas that you wouldn't actually eat is unhinged. We may not be able to come back from this as a society, but here's to praying for the brave baristas that continue to add upwards of three shots to any drink, or had to mix peppermint into a lemonade. We salute you.