We Will Never Find Out Who Bit Beyoncé — Or Crack These Other Unsolved Beyoncé Mysteries

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage/Parkwood Entertainment.
There are fans. There are stans. And then, there’s the Beyhive. We mostly lay dormant, minding our business and watching old Beyoncé videos on Instagram and YouTube. Instagram posts in sets of three sustain us while we listen to past Beyoncé albums and patiently wait for our Queen to tell us to get in formation. Most recently, it happened when she announced that she and husband Jay-Z would be embarking on another joint tour, On The Run II. Fans quickly assembled to buy tickets during both, forcing the couple to add more tour dates to their lineup. It was a typical drill for the Hive. But then there are other moments where we are forced to suddenly go on the offensive and pull a show of force on behalf of our commander in chief. That is the case this week as the internet has devolved into a frenzy trying to figure out what may be one of most high profile investigations of the year, #WhoBitBeyoncé. And it’s likely to go unsolved.
If you’re not familiar with the case, comedian Tiffany Haddish has taken it upon herself to spill more tea about the time she got to party with Queen Bey in a GQ interview. She says that during a party, an A-list actress bit Beyoncé in the face. This isn’t the kind of security threat the Beyhive can take lightly so we’ve compiled all the evidence, tossed around some theories, and narrowed down a list of suspects. Currently, Sanaa Lathan sits atop of it, but she took to Twitter to deny the accusations and without confirmation from Bey herself, we may never know who committed such a bold act or why. Instead, #WhoBitBeyoncé is probably going to end up in the growing list of cold cases that still keep members of the Beyhive up.
For example, we still don’t know exactly why Solange attacked Jay-Z on an elevator in 2014 as Beyoncé stood idly by after the Met Gala. When Bey released Lemonade two years later, opening up about Jay’s unfaithfulness, it was a huge break in discovering a motive. However, we were left with more questions than answers as we tried to find out the identity of “Becky with the good hair,” presumably Jay’s mistress that she mentions at the end of her single, “Sorry.” Like the biter case, fans spent weeks scouring the social media for clues about the woman who would dare get try to disturb Beyoncé’s happy home. But we ultimately came up empty handed.
Of course there are also less serious mysteries that even diehard fans can’t quite figure out and Beyoncé isn’t likely provide any relief. In the early 2000s Beyoncé had a tattoo on her left hip. It has vanished. I haven’t even seen the scar from where it would have been removed. What was it? What did it mean? Why did she nix it? And there’s her hair. Obviously, Beyoncé wears wigs. Everyone wears wigs. But how are hers so undetectable and secure during performances? And is she bending time to take her hair from flowy tresses or high pony, to cornrows, all within a few hours? These details may seem insignificant but they still underscore Bey’s enigmatic nature and push us further into her orbit of mysteries.
As we speak, the quest to identify the suspect in Haddish’s outlandish story is overshadowing another, bigger issue about the breakout Girls Trip star: How does Tiffany Haddish still have a career? This is the second time she has shared intimate details about Beyoncé, a public figure who is notoriously private and protective over her personal narrative. Last month, Haddish shared an anecdote about Beyoncé shooing away a woman who touched Jay-Z’s chest during the same party. This privacy breach led many to believe that Beyoncé was calling Haddish out during her verse on DJ Khaled’s “Top Off” when she said, “If they're tryna party with the queen, they gon' have to sign a nondisclosure.” Loose lips sink ships and Bey didn’t become a master of surprise albums and tours by having candid party stories about her floating around on the internet.
Crossing Beyoncé has never ended well for celebrities in the past. Keri Hilson is enjoying a life of relative obscurity after suggesting that Beyoncé should sit down and have some babies in a 2011 song. And despite managing his daughter and their bandmates during their Destiny Child’s Days, Matthew Knowles isn’t doing great, either. Managing one of the era’s most popular girl groups and upstarting the career of the greatest living entertainer should have seen Mr. Knowles in a position similar to Barry Gordy or at the very least, DJ Khaled. Instead, he’s teaching at a university.
It is yet to be seen how Haddish’s outspokenness will impact her life or who bit Beyoncé, our silent but powerful leader.
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