Weddings are supposed to be magical occasions filled with love and support from family and friends. But, on the season 2 finale of This Is Us, fans were reminded that sometimes things don't always happen the way we expect they should.
"It feels like you are constantly bending over backwards to calm her," his dad said.
His mom added that she felt like Toby was "tip-toeing around to keep from setting [Kate] off." It's true that Kate and Toby had been experiencing some stress during the wedding-planning process. Anyone who's participated in a wedding could tell you that a certain amount of anxiety is normal, especially for those who have lost someone who can't be in attendance. But, could his parents have a point in saying that Kate's unresolved familial issues could be bad news for Toby's mental and emotional health? Some fans think so.
"Is it bad that I agree with Toby's parents?" one commenter asked. "Kate *is* quite (emotionally) impulsive, always disappearing or running off somewhere when she's upset. It's kinda exhausting."
Others couldn't believe that Toby's 'rents waited until the day of his wedding to voice their concerns.
"Toby's parents are out of order," one fan tweeted. "This conversation should have happened already."
So, yeah, as you can see, things are pretty heated between people who are pro-Toby's parents and pro-Kate. Sadly, if the flash-forward to Toby depressed in bed at the end of the episode is any indication, this divide may continue to grow.
But, is it fair to blame Toby's past and (potential) future depression on the women he's married? Not entirely, no. Doing so would erase the fact that there are very real biological and personal factors that help determine someone's overall mental health. It's unfair to make another person completely responsible for your health and happiness.
Of course, it is reasonable to expect that your partner will be supportive when you're feeling depressed. Kate did seem to be loving and patient in the flash-forward clip.
It's also not fair to assume that the couple hadn't already experienced hardships together. While Kate's heartbreaking miscarriage tested their relationship, Toby's vulnerability and honesty actually brought them closer.
Ultimately, it's up to Kate and Toby to decide what's best for themselves and for their marriage. As Toby passionately told his parents, he's "unstably in love with Kate Pearson," and nothing's going to change that.