"Lannister On The Bannister" Is Your New Naughty Christmas Tradition

Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, who plays the dashing and devious (and incestous) Jamie Lannister on HBO's Game of Thrones demonstrated on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night that he has a slightly better sense of humor than the rest of the residents of Westeros (seriously, does anyone ever have fun in Westeros?).
Kimmel and Waldau have started a new holiday tradition, which should set fear into the hearts of Christmas loving boys and girls everywhere. That's right, Elf on the Shelf has given up his throne after being beheaded by: Lannister on the Bannister!
The skit is meant to be an ad, and the doll – which is basically the King Slayer shrunk down – is sold as a tradition for all religions.
While the voiceover reminds us that "nothing gets by the King Slayer's watchful eye," we learn that the little scamp comes with his own catchphrases, sure to send your children screaming into the night, like “you steal that candy and I’ll chop your hand off — like this!”
Cue Jamie Lannister waving his fake stump at a crying child.
We also learn that the Lannister on the Bannister is not here for your milk and cookies, as "that's not the Lannister way," and he needs to be fed giant leg of mutton (which is not included in the purchase price).
He'll also regale children with tales of the Red Wedding, in dark gory detail. "Their bodies pierced by arrows, their throats slit, that great hall became an ocean of blood," says Lannister, to teach a lesson about sharing.
Unfortunately, Lannister on a Bannister is about as close as we're going to get to seeing any of the characters from the show for a long time. Game of Thrones final season is set to air in 2019.
Take a look at the meanest elf ever in the video below.
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