We've dealt with enough today. From inauguration violence to animal cruelty to baffling 1700s fashion revivals, it's been a doozy. So it's high time the universe — that is, Canada, no surprise there — offered us another true tale of an animal being smarter than us all. Once upon a time, a.k.a. last week in the Northwest Territories, a timid dog named Ted hit it off with a kennel worker at the local SPCA. The worker, Abbey Boyd, told CBC News that Ted had just arrived at the shelter and was too scared to even go for a walk. What's a puppy-loving gal to do? "I fed him cheese-flavored bacon strips to try to get him to love me," Boyd explained. Of course. This was Boyd's only interaction with Ted that day, but Ted was clearly hoping for a second date. The next morning, Boyd went to work at her job at the airport; when she returned home, Ted was sitting on her porch. Apparently he'd made a jailbreak from the shelter and puppy-galloped 3.4 miles — through multiple neighborhoods, the airport, and possibly some lakes — to Boyd's house, having never been there before. "It doesn't really make sense, how he would have chosen or found me out of all the smells," Boyd told CBC. "It's just, it's the weirdest, the most amazing thing that's ever happened." Boyd is obviously now in the process of adopting Ted, and I am now obviously in the process of watching dog-owner-reunion videos on a loop until 2020.