When you think about The Bachelor, feminism may not be the first topic that comes to mind. But former Bachelor contestant and Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman is a proud, unapologetic feminist, and she has no time for men who won't embrace that.
"Being a feminist has weeded out a lot of guys that I don't want to be with," she told us at a Bachelorette finale viewing party hosted by Wedding Paper Divas Monday night. "I am a self-described feminist. I will not back down from that. I think feminism is a great thing and I look for someone that appreciates and respects that. I think every man, if they're worth anything, should respect and appreciate a feminist."
Growing up in the South, she's run into men who believe in traditional gender roles, but times are changing. "Women can do what men do and probably even better. It's something that no guy can turn a blind eye to. We're not in the '50s anymore," said the It's Not Okay author and former prosecutor. "I can sense very quickly what a guy expects. If he expects someone who will cater down to him every day of the week, I might not be seeing him again. That's a nice way of putting it."
Dorfman is known for leaving Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis (due to him talking about himself incessantly in the Fantasy Suite and not listening to her). And it paid off, since she went on to appear on The Bachelorette.
As someone whose Bachelorette relationship ultimately didn't last, Dorfman also offered some advice for JoJo and Jordan as they embark on their off-screen romance. "Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and your relationship, and try to focus on your relationship, not everything else that's going on around you," she said. "There will be a lot of stuff that happens around you, and it's easy to lose sight of your relationship, whether it's good or not."
Ultimately, though, she said someone's success on the show comes down to luck. "If [he's] not the right guy for you, it's not going to last."
Whether you're on The Bachelorette or not, Dorfman is a firm believer in finding happiness alone before you can be happy in a relationship.
"At the end of the day, your happiness spreads to all your other relationships, so you've got to make that a priority in order to have successful relationships, whether with a man or a friend or a family member," she said. "Take the social media out, take the family and friends out. At the end of the day, you have to lay down your head at night and wake up to yourself every single morning. You're the number one constant in your life."
That's a pretty feminist message.