Store Discovers The Best Use For Surplus Copies Of 50 Shades Of Grey

It’s really too bad that E.L. James’ erotic masterpiece wasn’t called 40 Shades of Grey because then we could have headlined this piece “More Like Fort-y Shades of Grey” and everyone could go home happy. Instead, we’re left with the disappointingly high number in the title and the decidedly un-disappointing art that one thrift shop made with donated copies of the erotic tour de force. The Swansea Oxfam, which sells secondhand books and records, was portrayed in a Daily Mail article as begging its clientele to stop donating the erotic classic.
They took the copies they do have and made this fort. It’s more of a wall, to be honest. Not really a fort. They should have made a fort. A sexy fort in which to read 50 Shades, which is the solution to America’s problems. We’ve compiled a list of other possible uses of surplus copies of 50 Shades for bookshops that might also be facing this dilemma. 1. Build an actual fort. Not a wall. Full fort. Put in battlements.
2. Set them on fire. Use them to generate heat.
3. Rip the pages out and use them to line your coat for winter.
4. If you’re in prison, put the book down your pants to prevent attacks from improvised weapons.
5. Eat the book.
6. Throw it at someone you don’t like.
7. Rent a U-Haul and stack someone’s lawn with them for a fun and flirty prank.
8. Scatter them around the room and play “the floor is lava” by hopping between islands of the erotic coming-of-age tale.
9. Weight-lift with them.
10. Place them on bus benches so that people will have erotic reading material.
11. Read them.

More from Books & Art

R29 Original Series