Welcome to the safest, most contoured space on the Internet: A space where we can openly discuss, dissect, and indulge in the greatest show of our time, Keeping Up With The Kardashians. It's time to talk about what the heck is going on with these Kardashian sisters with the recap for this week's episode, "The Art of the Prank."
Although the title refers to Khloé Kardashian pranking her mum, Kris Jenner, it also feels like Kourtney Kardashian is pranking, or at least hazing, her sisters with all this therapist drama. Yes, that's right — the Kardashian women have found their newest enemy: Kourt's evil therapist. After last week's tear-filled Christmas card drama, you may be wondering just how much more dramatic this Kim-Kourtney-Khloé clash can get? Oh, my KUWTK fam, very.
Sister, Sister Therapy
Not to brag, but I totally knew this therapist confrontation was on the horizon. Last week, Kim seemed to mock the way Kourtney was using therapy-speak to describe her feelings. That immediate negativity towards the notion of Kourtney quoting her therapist made it very clear that Kim, at least, sees the therapist as a threat, and thus a problem. When Khloé and Scott Disick talk about Kourtney over salad one afternoon, he reveals that she's been quoting her therapist to him, too. The family has a long, complicated history with talking about therapy and each other's mental health so it's no surprise that the root of their feud is something that makes them uncomfortable, like a woman telling Kourtney that her family is mean-spirit, self-centred, and potentially toxic.
Kim and Khloé confront Kourtney, and it doesn't go well (again). She sits on her phone, editing photos of herself, fully ignoring them. She, with the help of her new therapist who Kim and Khloé hate (they literally call her a "lunatic" and "psychotic"), has decided that she doesn't enjoy being mean anymore — so instead, she's quiet, and keeps to herself. Her standoffishness frustrates her sisters so much that they look directly at the camera and share a message with the therapist: "If you are watching this, we hate you. Hate you." Later, they try to discuss their problems again, this time with a different therapist. They enlist the help of Anita Avedian, a licensed therapist specialising in social anxiety and anger management. In the meeting, barely any progress is made. Kourtney straight up calls out her sisters for making fun of her for going to therapy, a claim they barely refute. She says she wishes that they were "happy for her" and not so focused on the show and their companies. But Kim doesn't care — she likes being focused on herself — and she's honestly mad that Kourtney would sign up to be on this season of the show if she isn't going to share her life with viewers. In the session, Khloé does try to mend their "special bond," but even that is a fruitless endeavour.
"If Kourtney wants to live with fake relationships, then this will be the fakest one," Khloé says in a one-on-one after the therapy session. And if next week's trailer is any indication, it looks like we won't be seeing much more of Kourtney this season while she figures everything out.
Scott trolling Kris is my favorite song. After Kris "art shames" Khloé when she doesn't know who artist Jeff Koons is ( “I don’t know who Jeff Kontz is...” is extremely the best part of the episode), she enlists Scott to help her get revenge on her mum. You see, Khloé is convinced that her mum knows nothing about art, and is just being a snob (she's right). And in times of total chaos in the hills of Calabasas, there's only one thing to do to bring everyone together: prank Kris.
So Khloé and Scott come up with this elaborate scam to convince Kris that she needs to buy art from a young swanky (made up) artist named Art Vandalay. The art is really coming from Kim's garage, where Khloé and Scott have set up a makeshift art studio. The end products (which Kris purchases multiple of, presumably still unaware that her daughter painted them just days before) actually look pretty decent. Kris goes as far as to inquire about getting them insured. Good American Paintings, anyone?
This week, Kendall finds out that her brand new house needs a ton of work, so she asks to stay with Kim. But, whoops, Kim forgets to tell her that she has already sold the house to a blonde European woman, Marina Acton. Kim tries to hide the fact that Kendall can't stay with her until Kendall confronts her in the bathroom of her own birthday party. It's pretty ironic that Kim is all upset over Kourtney's lack of communication when she is doing the exact same thing to her own little sister. Kendall forgives her, of course, but Kim admits she messed up.
But let's talk about Marina for a minute. Her presence felt extremely Single White Female . While viewing the house with a few real estate guys, she won't stop complimenting Kim’s curves, her voice, her hair. She also remarks that she's going to keep her and Kanye West's Bel Air home the exact same once Kim's out and she moves in. “I’ll keep it as your museum,” she says. *Looks at security*
Our weekly round-up of the craziest one-liners from the episode (these are all out of context because it makes them funnier):
"I'm your daughter and you're art shaming me and it's mean." — Khloé
"Are you eating raw meat or is it cooked?" —Khloé
"I don’t know." — Kourtney
"It’s cooked." — Kim
"I don’t know." — Kourtney
"It’s cooked." — Kim
"You have the cutest boobs." — Kris
"You're only as happy as your least favourite child." — Kris