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It's episode 28 of Married At First Sight Australia, baby! Feedback Week has been chaotic as usual, made even better by last night, when Lucinda and Timothy — our Bullshit Investigators — dropped a scathing anonymous letter to Tori and Jack. Tonight, we've got another dinner party and are set to watch the two couples go head to head. Hell yeah.
We start off with a topless Ridge ironing his shirt, before cutting to Jayden, who's also decided to sport a suit without a shirt look. Make it stop.
Then we're with Sara, who is getting ready to face the group for the first time since her 'cheating' scandal emerged. Sara says that she isn't going to stop showing how much she luuurrrves Tim, and he says that while he hasn't forgiven Sara, they're moving in the right direction. Okie dokie.

Quit Ya Yapping, Jayden

Unfortunately, we cut to Jayden, who is still yapping on and on about how bad cheating is, and I'm sorry, do we have SELECTIVE MEMORY LOSS? Has he forgotten that he cheated on his ex as an act of revenge? I cannot. Get this man off my screen!
Meanwhile, Lucinda is looking like a stunning little daffodil, blooming after her hilarious anonymous letter that she and Tim whipped up. They're poets! Both of them are giggling like little schoolkids and say that they're going to openly admit to writing the letter. Oh boy, get the popcorn, babes. Meanwhile, Jack and Tori are riled up about the letter, with Jack saying it was a "low blow". Please, mate.

Don't You DARE Come For Our Girl, Richard

While everyone is looking all spick and span heading to the dinner party, Andrea and Richard are in the middle of a biff. Andrea has written a list about the times when Richard has made her feel shit, and man, these people love lists. This one, however, is totally valid.
Andrea brings up Richard's messed up photo ranking debacle and his gross words at past Commitment Ceremonies, and Richard just can't understand why she's not into him anymore. Are you listening, my dude? Richard says that these instances are not the issue, and Andrea stands up for herself and says that he's not hearing her. Richard blathers on about how he wants to be desired and how hurt he is and blah blah blah, I just can't deal with dudes who refuse to take accountability for their actions! Get outta here!
Andrea calls out his body language, and Richard has the AUDACITY to call her out for gaslighting. This is especially wild because he would know that Andrea has dealt with gaslighting in past relationships. Richard says good luck to her and walks out, and I've never been so glad to watch someone leave. What a mess.

"Teeheehehehe" — Timothy and Lucinda

Everyone starts arriving at the Commitment Ceremony and everyoneeeeee is losing it after hearing rumours about the Bullshit Investigators' letter, which might still be the best thing we've seen on TV... ever. Lucinda and Timothy arrive and are blooming like little blossoms — who knew a bit of shit stirring could bring people together like this? Eden talks to Lucinda and Timothy about the letter, and they do their best surprised Pikachu reaction. This lasts for about two minutes until they giggle so much that they blow their cover. Iconic. Lucinda says there were no low blows and it was "all fact", giggling and teeheeing the evening away. Meanwhile, Timothy is like, Yeah, I wrote it!!! And I'd do it again!!!
Finally, Jack and Tori rock up and you can tell that they're PISSED. Lucinda is all like g'day hehehe and says in a confessional that she WILL tell them the truth, but wants to have a little bit of mysterious fun for a hot sec. Lucinda says she's feeling fiery and it has me EXCITED.
But Richard rocks up solo and Ridge is like oh shit, this might have been my fault. Andy finally arrives and is clearly off, feeling a lot of anxiety. Andrea is upset over being told that she's a liar and gaslighting him, and hell, I would be too if I were a sweet peach like her.
Tim and Sara are the last to arrive and Tori has the audacity to call Tim a "fool" for staying with Sara. Pot calling the kettle black much? Jayden's now got a problem with Sara having feelings for Tim because he says it's disingenuous, and I swear if I have to watch this dude think he's on the moral high ground for another episode, I will rip my hair out. Alas, he continues and Jayden says that he's going to call her out tonight. Snoozeville.

More Chaotic Lucinda, Thanks!

Every time Lucinda and Timothy are on the screen, I can't help but feel IMMENSE JOY! Who would have thought that Lucinda becoming a master of chaos is the best thing to happen to this show? What a match made in heaven, bringing the best (and the worst) out of each other. They've both picked up that Tori and Jack know that they've written the letter, and they're both really enjoying it all. Stunning.
Jack doesn't understand whyyyyy Tim has a problem with him (idk man, pick any excuse from the list and I'm sure it'll do). While everyone is very concerned with their food, both of the couples just STARE at each other until Lucinda airs to everyone that they're the Bullshit Investigators and they were the ones to write the anonymous letter. Here we go!!!
Tori explains the contents of the letter, while Timothy is just sitting there giggling. It's a nice change from a few weeks ago when he was quite volatile. Now he's just babygirl! And you know what? That's our babygirl.
Tori again goes on about how into Jack she is, and Jade is like, hold my drink, lol. She tells everyone about how in their one-on-one, Jack said he would have slept with someone by now if they were more his type. Tim can't stop laughing (understandable) and Jack admits that if he had a "sexual spark" with someone, he would have slept with them by now. Yikes. Sorry, Tori. Timothy asks Tori how she feels, to which Jack tries to answer, because of course. Tori reiterates that she can take care of herself and says that she needs everyone to trust her judgement. I'm trying, babe.

Andrea's Had Enough

Jayden and Eden, who I guess are meant to be the designated 'nice couple' this season are like, oh yeah, we're about to say the big L word.
By contrast, Richard and Andrea look like they're about to cry, and Richie tells everyone about how shit their relo is and, essentially, that Andrea's past relationships have ruined this one. It's nice to see that his listening skills are a 2/10 at best. Andy quickly shuts it down and says that he just doesn't want to listen to her and that she's being disrespected. "He makes me feel like I'm crazy," Andrea says. Someone save her, please.
Richard continues yapping and says that she's treating him like he's her ex, and Andrea has enough, slams the table, and tells him that he needs to listen to her. It's rare to see her worked up like this — that's when you know you've messed up.
Tristan, sweet angel, kindly stands up for Andrea, while Lucinda asks him what he can own in the disagreements. It seems to strike a chord and he admits that he's emotional but that he feels exhausted and sad and that he adores her. Andrea says she doesn't want to fight with him anymore and holds his hand, and I feel like I'm getting emotional whiplash.
From one drama to the next, we tune in with Sara and Tim who are smooching lots, while Tori and Jayden are looking at them like they're lions, and Sara is a little bunny that they're about to eat. They start getting questioned and Tim's like, it's up to me if I wanna be with her. Jayden shares with everyone that Sara had deleted her text messages and everyone is like, uhhhh. Jayden tells Tim to run for the hills and please, lord, get this man off my screen. The outrage over Sara is so disproportionate to all the shady shit from the men in this season. Livin' as a woman, I tell ya.

Even Tori Likes Lucinda & Timothy Together!!!

Meanwhile, Lucinda and Timothy are lovin' up on each other, with even TORI saying that the two of them feel closer. TORI! THE ARCH NEMESIS! Now that's progress. Tim admits that he's a little bit broken and Lucinda has broken down his walls. THEN IT HAPPENS.
Everyone is screeching (I am too), and Tristan says it's "hectic". Those are my parents, right there. They're smooching. Lucinda's hyped and gets a bit teary, saying that she's so excited for their romance to unravel. Me too, Luce. Me too.

Why Am I Getting So Emotional Over A 51-Year-Old Man

But then we cut to Tim, who feels like he suddenly starts spiralling and looks quite sad. He leaves the table and says he needs a break, but can't pinpoint why he can't hold himself together.
Then we have possibly one of the most emotional clips we've seen this entire season. Tim says that he came onto the show to find love and has realised that he's been wasting time being angry, closed off, and judging everyone else. He says that in his 51 years, he's never let anyone in and wishes he had come into the show with a more open heart, especially for Lucinda. There's no time like the present, Timmy.
Lucinda gets up to check on him, and the two of them cry together. It's beautiful to watch, really. Tim admits that he's scared to let people get close and Lucinda says that he has a gorgeous, big heart. I want Lucinda to tell me that I have a gorgeous big heart.
It's really amazing to watch this guy who has gone through so much unravel and be vulnerable, and I'm so proud of him. I'm not crying, it's just raining on my face. This is masculinity.
It's the end of the episode, and we get a sneak peek into the next Commitment Ceremony, which features a sassy John Aiken (my favourite) and Jayden @ing Sara again... and potentially showing cracks in his own marriage with Eden. I, for one, welcome Jayden's downfall! Until next time, babyccinos.

WTF Moment:

Richard saying Andrea was gaslighting him. Just no.

Couple Of The Episode:



Timothy. How lovely it is to see a man healing himself!
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