In all the discussion about college hookup culture, something people miss is that sex can actually be… funny. College sex doesn’t look like it does on Gossip Girl, after all. For one thing, unlike Blair Waldorf, you’re sharing a dorm room or an apartment with other students, instead of having a whole mansion to yourself. And there are no maids around to clean up your mess or fix your post-sex hair, either.
So, let’s embrace funny sex stories. Remember, awkward sex can be hot, too. "We have a choice in every moment to decide whether something is going to be awkward, especially during sex," Emily Morse, PhD, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast, previously told Refinery29. "The mood is only going to get ruined if you let it. Sex is hot, pleasurable, dirty, awkward, and funny all at the same time. So when something funny happens, there’s no harm in having a quick laugh and continuing on."
So whether you spill lube everywhere, have sex in a bunk bed and hit your head on the ceiling, or accidentally fart mid-coitus, go ahead and laugh. Funny sex can be great, and even if you're embarrassed in the moment, it will make for a good story later on. Here are some of the funniest college hookup stories we could find on Reddit.
“In college, the RA on my dorm floor kept a cardboard box with condoms in it attached to the wall just above eye level by his door in the hallway. I had a date one night and slyly grabbed a rubber out of the box as I was walking down the hall and quickly put it in my pocket.
"Fast forward to that night, and the moment has arrived. We are naked under the sheets in the dark, and I reach into my pants pocket for the jimmie hat. I open it under the sheets and get powder all over my fingers and it smells like poultry. Confused, I turn on the light and it’s a Ramen noodle flavor packet. I didn't get laid that night.” (via Reddit)
“I had just moved into my own apartment the summer before my freshman year. Being a poor college student, the best setup I could afford was sharing a room with two other girls. Time alone was scarce at night, but once in a while, the two other girls would go out and I would just hang out in the apartment with my S.O.… and by hang out, I mean seize the opportunity to have sex in peace.
"On one particular night, my S.O. and I were in a bit of a rush because we didn't know how long my roommates would be gone and it slipped my mind to do the usual ‘close the windows, lock the door’ routine. Considerably loud and dirty sexytime ensues, and just as I let out that last satisfied moan, I hear my neighbors on both sides start to cheer and clap for me. (I had one window on either side of my bedroom windows, both apartments occupied by two or three college guys.) For a solid minute, I lay frozen like a deer in the headlights as they applauded my grand finale.” (via Reddit)
“I had just gotten elected to the student senate, and my then-girlfriend yelled out, 'F*ck me, senator!' My roommates heard it, and my name for the rest of college to everyone I knew and some I didn't was senator.” (via Reddit)
“Brought a guy back to my dorm room, where we start getting busy. For some reason, his phone goes off, and Siri asks him, 'Where would you like to go?’ Like he had asked for directions to somewhere. He immediately blurts out, ‘To pound town, what’s it to you?!’ And I don't know if I have ever laughed so hard in my life. Things didn't work out between us, but we did date for a while, had to after that encounter. You can't pass up a good amount of time with someone that can think quick on their feet like that.” (via Reddit)
“On one of my college baseball road trips, I met a girl on a dating website. Being a senior, I had my own bed, but the two underclassmen shared a bed right next to me. This wasn't going to work. When she arrived, I told her that we were going to have to get a little creative, so we went into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and went at it.
"Apparently, somewhere in the midst of all that, we broke the top of the toilet. I didn't know about this until a few days later when the hotel called to inform our team that we were permanently banned for destruction of property and the school had to pay for a new toilet. When confronted by my coach, I initially told him no, but when I saw that he thought the situation was hilarious, I admitted to it and to this day is a story that they tell on every road trip.” (via Reddit)
“Giving a good doggy-style hammering to a college girlfriend, I got a sudden smack on my ballsack. I look behind me and see my girlfriend's cat, staring back at me, just as shocked as I. Girlfriend couldn't understand why I stopped and I couldn't explain from laughing.” (via Reddit)