20 Things You Probably Shouldn't Say To A Fashion Person

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Despite how effortlessly stylish they may appear, fashion people have it tough. Just kidding — they don't. But with maintaining a stylish exterior comes a series of questions that sometimes make dressing up feel more like being a monkey in a zoo. We know what you're thinking: Woe is you, right? But hey, you try justifying why you spent $78 on a white T-shirt. Hint: It's really, really tough, and you know exactly why.

In the words of an old English proverb, hakuna matata — have no worries — for the slideshow ahead will aid you in getting past those awkward encounters we know all too well. That's cute, said someone who doesn't actually like your outfit. And That's interesting, said your significant other who, had they not been your spouse at the time, probably would have roasted you for carrying that Jeremy Scott for Moschino pill bag. Because what better poison than a taste of their own medicine? Here's to strutting past the haters, one backhanded thank you at a time.
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"You have such a unique sense of style."
Perhaps the most backhanded compliment of them all, we know how awkward this interaction is. It's like, Oh, really? You think so? No you don't.
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"That's cute."
Is it? Are you sure? I'm watching you (and your words).
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"I could never pull that off."
Well, here's to knowing thyself and thy limits.
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"But you can."
Yes. I can.
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"Have you lost weight? You look good!"
We've never really understood this one. Are we supposed to be flattered that someone else is watching our weight and assigning value to one size over the other? Oh, thanks!
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"Well, you always were the fashion one. I was never really into that kind of stuff."
Miranda Priestly has the sting for this one: "This... stuff? Oh. Okay, I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select... I don't know...that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis. It's actually cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent...wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here.

"And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry, when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room...from a pile of stuff."
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"So, are you a fashion designer?"
No. Not everyone who works in fashion is a designer. In fact, most of us can barely sew a button onto damn near anything. Where have you been?
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"I wish I had the confidence to pull that off like you do."
Money can't buy you class, darling! Elegance is learned.
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"That's so cool. Is it vintage?"
No, it is not. It's Vetements spring 2017 that just hit stores, thank you very much. And while we're at it, I'll have you know that while this frock was indeed probably copied from something stolen from a dirty street table in Paris, it was (re)made with the finest whisper white silk organza that money can buy. Okay? Now, scram.
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"I don't really shop vintage. I just can't get over wearing someone else's clothes."
That's not what that vintage CK One denim skirt you "borrowed" from me says. I'll take it back now, please.
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"Well, you dress more feminine than me."
And? Is that a bad thing? Make a point.
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"Did you get that on sale?"
I sure the hell did. And I look damn good in it, too.
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"Do they have any left? When did it come out?"
How uncomfortable when someone's so blithely unaware of how uncool it is to copy their stylish friend. We all shop at Zara, sure. But my outfit shouldn't be a roadmap to a more fashionable you. C'mon, man.
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"That's interesting."
These are fighting words.
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"I hate shopping."
Well, I (sometimes) get free Champagne when I do it. So, newsflash: You don't have to! More bubbly pour moi.
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"I just don't understand people who spend money on that type of thing."
Well, the good news is: You don't have to. Quality over quantity, people.
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"I don't know. I just hate dressing up. I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of person."
Did you even know that T-shirts and jeans can BE dressed up? Try it some time.
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"I would just never think to put that together."
Hm...me neither...
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"I just can't walk in high heels."
Well, this could be us, but you playin'.
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"I don't want to look too frumpy," and "I don't want to look too slutty."
Who are you dressing for? The haters or yourself?

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