This may sound painfully obvious, but the longer sex lasts, the longer you're spending intimate time with your partner — which is a good thing. And as many people can attest, the longer anticipation and arousal is built, the better the climax tends to be.
While orgasms don't have to be the goal of sex — in fact, focusing less on getting off is a terrific first step to longer sex — any time you come in a manner that makes you believe in magic is definitely something to strive for. But this tends to happen when sex is slow and drawn out, and sometimes, that's easier said than done. Luckily, for both people with vaginas and people with penises, there are lots of ways to take your time when you're getting it on. First off, it's important to realize something that many LGBTQ folks already know: Sex is much, much more than just penis-in-vagina penetration.
"I define sex as any contact with someone that is about mutual pleasure," says Liz Powell, PsyD, an LGBTQ-friendly sex educator, coach, and licensed psychologist.
If this is new to you, that realization alone should help you stretch out your sex sessions. Whether you're into oral sex, fingering, utilizing strap-ons, or even dry humping (yes, dry humping), figure out your preferred methods of prolonging things and building intimacy, and incorporate them into your sex life. Just know that slow sex takes time, effort, and some forethought — things that may not come naturally in a society that often prioritizes quantity over quality when it comes to sex.
We believe in your power as sex goddesses (and gods). So, to help you have heavenly orgasms and increased intimacy, here are some mind-blowing tricks to making sex last longer. And don't forget to check back, as we'll be adding new suggestions regularly.
While we're arguably more in control of and confident about our sexuality than ever, there's still so much we don't know about female arousal. So this month, we're exploring everything you want and need to know about how women get turned on now. Check out more here.