All Of The Mind-Blowing Tricks To Making Sex Last Longer

This may sound painfully obvious, but the longer sex lasts, the longer you're spending intimate time with your partner — which is a good thing. And as many people can attest, the longer anticipation and arousal is built, the better the climax tends to be.

While orgasms don't have to be the goal of sex — in fact, focusing less on getting off is a terrific first step to longer sex — any time you come in a manner that makes you believe in magic is definitely something to strive for. But this tends to happen when sex is slow and drawn out, and sometimes, that's easier said than done. Luckily, for both people with vaginas and people with penises, there are lots of ways to take your time when you're getting it on. First off, it's important to realise something that many LGBTQ folks already know: Sex is much, much more than just penis-in-vagina penetration.

"I define sex as any contact with someone that is about mutual pleasure," says Liz Powell, PsyD, an LGBTQ-friendly sex educator, coach, and licensed psychologist.

If this is new to you, that realisation alone should help you stretch out your sex sessions. Whether you're into oral sex, fingering, utilising strap-ons, or even dry humping (yes, dry humping), figure out your preferred methods of prolonging things and building intimacy, and incorporate them into your sex life. Just know that slow sex takes time, effort, and some forethought — things that may not come naturally in a society that often prioritises quantity over quality when it comes to sex.

We believe in your power as sex goddesses (and gods). So, to help you have heavenly orgasms and increased intimacy, here are some mind-blowing tricks to making sex last longer. And don't forget to check back, as we'll be adding new suggestions regularly.

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Clear your schedule.

The words "Google Calendar" aren't typically considered dirty talk, but planned sex can make for awesome sex. And long sex, in particular, takes planning. Set a time, perhaps a Sunday afternoon, and create a Google Calendar invite (make it for at least three hours) labeled "Sexy Time." Invite your lover. Once you carve out the time for long sex, you'll be less likely to de-prioritise love-making by overbooking yourself.
2 of 6

There are so many reasons to masturbate: It's said to be good for your skin, it allows you to learn what types of touch you like best, and regular masturbation can help delay orgasms for people with penises, which can make partnered sex last longer. Not to mention, many people with vaginas anecdotally report that same benefit of masturbation. So make sure you're giving yourself plenty of "me" time.

3 of 6
Practice pelvic floor exercises.

If you have a partner with a penis, you might assume that practicing Kegel exercises will make your vagina tighter, which will, in turn, result in them coming very quickly during penetrative sex. Actually, for both people with vaginas and people with penises, practicing pelvic floor exercises can help sex last longer.

One small study found that, when those with penises who experienced premature ejaculation practiced pelvic floor exercises, they lasted four times longer in bed. For those with vaginas, pelvic floor exercises are said to not only make sex better, but increase stamina and strength outside the bedroom.
4 of 6
Spend an hour in bed doing sexy things — without touching one another.

"The longer you can tease or make someone wait, the greater the pleasure they're going to build, as long as it stays engaging," Dr. Powell says.

For the first hour of your scheduled sex marathon, experiment with types of foreplay that build sexual tension without physically touching one another. Dr. Powell suggests trying dirty talk, exchanging fantasies, or watching porn together. Try making it through an entire X-rated film without so much as a hand on your partner's thigh.

(If you're not a big porn person but are curious, may I suggest easing the pressure with some parody porn? I own a DVD of Harry Twatter, and I highly recommend it.)

5 of 6
Keep your clothes on for a while.

After you've become thoroughly turned on, slowing integrate physical touch — but keep your clothes on. We're often in a rush to get to the "good part" (a.k.a. the genitals), but taking time to kiss and touch over clothing will build up anticipation. "You can feel each other's desire while still fully clothed," Dr. Powell says.

And for the people with vaginas who don't already know this: You can come with your clothes on through dry humping if you're turned on enough.
6 of 6
Give a striptease.

Now it's time to go ahead and get naked, but make sure to take your time. As your partner sits on the bed (presumably drooling), get up and stand against the wall and make eye contact — the kind of eye contact that says, "I am about to change your life, so I hope you can handle it."

Remove your outer layers with the tease and timing of a burlesque dancer, and then slowly unhook your bra (if you're wearing one) and lower each strap, one by one. But don't remove it yet — hold your bra over your breasts until your partner can't take it anymore, then let it drop. Now for your panties. Try turning around and placing your arms up against the wall so that your partner has a full view of your ass, and don't let them get up from the bed and touch you. Feel free to work in some slow dance moves, and then, inch by inch, remove your panties.

When the strip tease has concluded, you can finally begin playing naked. If you're the one giving the strip tease, that means you're in control, so feel free to just yank off your partner's clothing to get them naked as well. They've been so patient, they deserve it.

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