How To Make Eating Someone Out More Interesting

Photographed by Brayden Olson.
A couple of years ago, The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality published a study that wasn't exactly shocking. Turns out, women are way more likely than men to give their partners oral sex.
Some people call it the "oral sex gap," but no matter the name, the fact is that women (at least, those who have sex with men) receive oral sex less often both because men are less likely to offer and because women are less likely to ask. Some women struggle to get out of their own heads when it comes to oral (not surprising, since women are socialized to please everyone except themselves) and some don't like it because they find it boring.
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While it's totally fine for oral sex to be off your sex "menu" once you've given it a fair try, sexologist Megan Fleming, PhD, hopes that everyone at least gives oral a fighting chance. That means, trying multiple times and doing different things each time. So maybe you're not into laying back while someone licks your clitoris, but have you ever tried having someone suck on it?
Sucking (instead of licking) is just one way to add some variety to your oral game. Ahead, Dr. Fleming gives more suggestions of techniques and products that can make both giving and receiving oral sex more interesting, intense, and fun.
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illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Use a sex pillow

"Good sex is always about angles," Dr. Fleming says. And sex pillows make angles easier to manipulate. Even if you've never used one, it's not hard to guess what it does. Usually, they come in wedge-like shapes and are used to lift one partner's hips or butt into an angle you can't reach with regular bed pillows (because they're too squishy).

Using a sex pillow for eating someone out is especially nice because it can lift the receiving partner's hips into an angle that makes giving oral much easier for the other person. No more neck pain.
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illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Try flavored lube

Some people really love the natural smell and taste of vaginal fluids, Dr. Fleming says. And some either aren't comfortable with the taste yet, or just aren't into it. And that's okay, too. "For someone who's not fully embracing the natural taste, flavored lube is a way to add something new, but also makes it more pleasurable and enjoyable," she says.

Just remember, there's nothing gross about how a vagina naturally smells or tastes. It's okay if your partner likes tasting something sweet, like candy apple-flavored lube, but it's not okay if they're trying to shame your body.
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illustrated by Tristan Offit.
"Prep" the area

For people who have vulvas, any kind of sex is going to feel more intense the more aroused they are, Dr. Fleming says. And one thing that can be highly erotic for some people is if their partner "grooms" them. "Some people wax, so grooming may not even be on the table," Dr. Fleming says. "But having a partner use a razor on your genitals can be very arousing."

It's about trust and care-taking, she says, and can make some people feel more connected and intimate with their sexual partners. "You're really giving yourself over and surrendering to someone if you're trusting them with a razor on your privates," she says. "It's about trust, and letting go, and being taken care of."
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illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Try orgasm control

"Edging" is a sexual trick some people use to make orgasms more intense. The idea is that you build tension up to the point where your partner (or you, if you're masturbating) almost has an orgasm. And then you back off. "You can tell by 'oohs' and 'ahhs' whether your partner is getting close," Dr. Fleming says. When it seems like they're about to come, stop licking. And then, slowly start to tease them again.

"You're building more intense orgasm, by getting close and backing off," she says. "Because the more aroused someone is, the more intense their orgasm will be."

Also, edging can be fun for the partner who's giving oral. If you're the kind of person who gets turned on by pleasing other people, repeatedly bringing your partner to the brink of orgasm can be extremely hot.
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illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Suck and blow

Oral sex is all about the licking, right? Not exactly. There are plenty of other things you can do with your mouth, and adding some sucking and blowing can make both giving and receiving oral more fun. "Blow on your partner's vulva, or put their clit or most of their vulva in your mouth and suck," Dr. Fleming suggests. A lick and a suck feel very different, and new sensation could put your partner over the edge.
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illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Play with temperature

Want to make oral sex feel new and different? Stick an ice cube in your mouth before you go down. Or, drink some hot tea beforehand to warm your mouth up. Like sucking and licking, playing with temperature makes the sensations of oral sex feel exciting.

You could also achieve temperature play by using a warming lube or a cooling lube, but Dr. Fleming is partial to using ice cubes and hot tea or something similar because it's easier to make it a whole-body experience. "You can roll ice cubes around on your tongue, or dripping water from ice cubes from your partner's breasts down her stomach and over her clit," she says. "Think about the whole experience and what opportunities you have to bring in teasing and build anticipation."
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