9 Tips To Take Your Handjobs To The Next Level

Handjobs might be the most underrated sex act. They’re often thought of as the go-to for inexperienced high schoolers, or as something you do when you want to get your partner off but you’re too tired for anything else. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Done right, handjobs can be an incredible sex act in their own right. And of course, they can always be used as foreplay before moving to another sex act, too.

I tweeted out a request for handjob tips, and sex educators and handjob enthusiasts alike responded. So grab some lube and maybe a vibrator, then crack your knuckles. Here’s how to take your handjobs to the next level.

The common complaint about handjobs is that receiver could easily just do it themselves. To find out what your partner likes, ask them to masturbate for you before beginning, suggests Lisa Finn, Sex Educator for Babeland. “If you notice that they really focus on the head, or if they tend to squeeze as they stroke, follow these guides as a baseline — since nobody knows a body as well as their own,” she says.

The first step to a great handjob is to use lube. “My handjob PSA is that friction burns are possible and have caused STI scares. So be careful and lube up!” one woman, Allie, DMed me. 

Finn adds, “If I had to give one pro-tip for handjobs, it’s to use a good lube. Lube will cut down on unwanted friction, and allow your hands to add in new sensations like added pressure — or motions like twisting or light pulling — that may be uncomfortable without the ability for the hands to glide across the skin easily. Try a silicone lube (like Uberlube) for something long-lasting and latex safe.”

Finn suggests starting slowly and gently before getting more intense. “Remember that the body may need a bit of time to get fully aroused before more intense stimulation feels as amazing as it can,” she says. “Starting slower not only can be really hot if you’re teasing while doing so, but it can also give the body some time for the blood flow to make its way throughout the penis for full erection potential." (She adds that erections aren’t necessary to enjoy a handjob: “Handjobs can feel great on flaccid bodies too!”)

Finn suggests, "Try lightly squeezing up the shaft — moving from base to tip — to wake up all those sensitive bits and to draw that blood flow forward throughout the shaft and up to the more sensitive head.”

The head of the penis is packed with nerve-endings, “so it can be a really hot spot to focus on during a handjob,” Finn says. “When you stroke, bring your hand all the way up over the tip before going back down.”

She suggests the “Waterfalls” technique: “Using lube, have one hand start at the tip and move down the shaft. Right before you hit the base with that hand, replace it with the other hand at the tip and move down, resulting in a seamless motion, which can feel like someone is endlessly penetrating, and can be a really unique and exquisite experience. (You can also start at the base and move up for a feeling of endless pulling out!)”

“Pay attention to and tease the frenulum,” advises sexuality educator Jamie J. LeClaire. The frenulum is the area on the underside of the penis, right where the head meets the shaft, and it’s particularly sensitive. 

Finn suggests, “Try using your thumbs to focus light pressure on this hotspot, or make sure to move your hand across it as you stroke.” She describes a technique called “Texting Fingers”: “ Lace your hands together around the shaft, with your thumbs pointed towards the head at the underside- so they are resting right on the frenulum. Use your thumbs to push lightly onto the frenulum, alternating your movements like you were sending a text — or more aptly, sext — message.”

If your partner is uncircumcised, they might enjoy having the head of their penis stimulated through their foreskin. The foreskin is sensitive — think of it as analogous to the clitoral hood — so be gentle with it (unless your partner is saying otherwise, that is).

“Spend a TON of time around the base,” advises one anonymous handjob-giver. “And touch that perineum.” The perineum is the space between the base of the scrotum and the anus — and go ahead and add some anal play too, if your partner likes it.

While your hands are occupied your partner’s penis, don’t forget about the rest of your body. “I really enjoy when a girl lays her head on my stomach or chest while she strokes,” says one handjob enthusiast.

Some vibrations can make a handjob even more enjoyable. "Place a vibrator directly underneath the balls,” suggests sex writer Tawny Lara. Vibrators aren’t just for vulvas, after all.