27 Pickup Lines That Will Make You Say “Yikes”

Photographed By Savana Ogburn.
We're all familiar with "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" and "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." But when it comes to truly cringeworthy pickup lines, those are only the tip of the iceberg. I asked the internet to tell me the worst pickup lines they've ever heard, and boy, did they deliver.
Below, read some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pickup lines — as well as a few that are so bad they're actually kinda good? And then maybe ask your crush out, because your worst attempt can't be as bad as some of these.
"The worst was MANY YEARS AGO a guy told me he had a psychic watch and his watch was telling him I’m not wearing any underwear. When I said his watch was wrong, he grinned, leaned in, and whispered 'my psychic watch is also an hour fast.'” - @ellesp
“'What breed is your dog?' Followed by 'What breed are you?'” - Jennifer Hassan (@GuinnessKebab)
"Once without any greeting or preamble I received [on a dating app], 'I would burn all the chairs in the world so you'd have to sit on my face.'" - Emily Jones (@ejreports)
“Is true that redheads do better yoga?" - Kelsey
"'Do you wear Hello Kitty pajamas?' - from a straight guy on OkCupid with no profile pic." - @er_ique
"Ugh, one time someone literally asked me with no lead-up, 'So, want to have a quickie in the bathroom?' We were on a bus from Boston to NYC." Beth Parker (@beth_parker)
“Are you sure you’re gay?" - @touringhstorian
"This is objectively bad but still had the intended effect on me: 'I think I just found my goth gf.'" - Lucy Diavolo (@SatansJacuzzi)
"Because I listed bagels as a thing I couldn’t live without: 'Hey there, I’d lick your bagel hole if you want." - Kelly D
"From an Uber driver: 'You wanna come back to my place and have some soup?'" - Robert Kuang (@rykuang)
"On Tinder, some guy’s first message was, 'Wanna go halfsies on a baby?'" - Tyler Vendetti (@HeyThereFuture)
"A guy came up to me and said, 'I clean carpets for a living, but I'll do yours for free anytime, anyplace.' To be fair, he gave me his card and he literally was a carpet cleaner. Don't know if that makes it better or worse." - Jessica Murray (@creepiequeenie)
"Years ago in Sicily, a local guy told me winsomely/hesitantly that I looked like a wardrobe. I was taller than him, if it helps" - @minnyeu
"Guy: do you like games?
Me: uh...sure
Guy: OK. Let’s play house: you be the door, and I’ll slam you.
This was at least 5 years ago and I still can’t forget." - Marina Carlson (@marinacarlson)
“Once a guy said he wrote a poem from me from across the bar. Later, when I read it, it was a sexually explicit Madonna song.” - Lisa Stardust (@lisastardustastro)
"I was 16 working in retail during Christmas season: 'Let me decorate your Christmas tree.' He was totally wasted. When he found out I was underage, he thought it was still okay because I was 'so tall.'" - Becca
“I went outside to smoke a cigarette and the guy followed me outside and went ‘you’re lucky I didn’t steal everything out of your purse.'" - Kasey Ehrgott (@SMASEY)
"Daaaayyyyummm gurl, you look mean as hell!" - @jennaparaprints
"A guy seriously used the Joey Tribbiani 'How you doin'?' on me one time. It was weird." - Miranda
"You are the spitting image of my 12-year-old daughter." - @StephExpress
"I was working at a gas station and giving a guy some chicken and asked if he wanted sauce. He said, 'How about some you sauce?'" - Dani Olsen (@danikolsen)
"Wow, you are Big Bird!' said by a guy who was 5'2. I'm 5'9 and plus-size. I wanted to step on him, but decided to fly away." - Jeanne Prisyazhnaya (@jeannejourno)
"Someone at Webster Hall tried to pick me up with the line 'if you don't want to dance we can talk about death somewhere' and it ALMOST worked" - Carly Susman (@carlycarbonate)
"'You look like a young Miley Cyrus' ...said when Miley was 21-years-old." - Karie W.
"'You look like you taste good.' BARF BARF BARF." - Rachel Charlene Lewis (@rachelcharlenel)
"'Do you drink coffee in the morning?' Me: No. 'I have orange juice, want to try that?'" - Lydia R. (@TheLydiaRice)
"Do you come in a green bottle?...Because I'd sure like to mount 'n' do you." - @crosberg

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