27 Pickup Lines That Will Make You Say “Yikes”

Photographed By Savana Ogburn.
We're all familiar with "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" and "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." But when it comes to truly cringeworthy pickup lines, those are only the tip of the iceberg. I asked the internet to tell me the worst pickup lines they've ever heard, and boy, did they deliver.
Below, read some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pickup lines — as well as a few that are so bad they're actually kinda good? And then maybe ask your crush out, because your worst attempt can't be as bad as some of these.
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"The worst was MANY YEARS AGO a guy told me he had a psychic watch and his watch was telling him I’m not wearing any underwear. When I said his watch was wrong, he grinned, leaned in, and whispered 'my psychic watch is also an hour fast.'” - @ellesp
“'What breed is your dog?' Followed by 'What breed are you?'” - Jennifer Hassan (@GuinnessKebab)
"Once without any greeting or preamble I received [on a dating app], 'I would burn all the chairs in the world so you'd have to sit on my face.'" - Emily Jones (@ejreports)
“Is true that redheads do better yoga?" - Kelsey
"'Do you wear Hello Kitty pajamas?' - from a straight guy on OkCupid with no profile pic." - @er_ique
"Ugh, one time someone literally asked me with no lead-up, 'So, want to have a quickie in the bathroom?' We were on a bus from Boston to NYC." Beth Parker (@beth_parker)
“Are you sure you’re gay?" - @touringhstorian
"This is objectively bad but still had the intended effect on me: 'I think I just found my goth gf.'" - Lucy Diavolo (@SatansJacuzzi)
"Because I listed bagels as a thing I couldn’t live without: 'Hey there, I’d lick your bagel hole if you want." - Kelly D
"From an Uber driver: 'You wanna come back to my place and have some soup?'" - Robert Kuang (@rykuang)
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"On Tinder, some guy’s first message was, 'Wanna go halfsies on a baby?'" - Tyler Vendetti (@HeyThereFuture)
"A guy came up to me and said, 'I clean carpets for a living, but I'll do yours for free anytime, anyplace.' To be fair, he gave me his card and he literally was a carpet cleaner. Don't know if that makes it better or worse." - Jessica Murray (@creepiequeenie)
"Years ago in Sicily, a local guy told me winsomely/hesitantly that I looked like a wardrobe. I was taller than him, if it helps" - @minnyeu
"Guy: do you like games?
Me: uh...sure
Guy: OK. Let’s play house: you be the door, and I’ll slam you.
This was at least 5 years ago and I still can’t forget." - Marina Carlson (@marinacarlson)
“Once a guy said he wrote a poem from me from across the bar. Later, when I read it, it was a sexually explicit Madonna song.” - Lisa Stardust (@lisastardustastro)
"I was 16 working in retail during Christmas season: 'Let me decorate your Christmas tree.' He was totally wasted. When he found out I was underage, he thought it was still okay because I was 'so tall.'" - Becca
“I went outside to smoke a cigarette and the guy followed me outside and went ‘you’re lucky I didn’t steal everything out of your purse.'" - Kasey Ehrgott (@SMASEY)
"Daaaayyyyummm gurl, you look mean as hell!" - @jennaparaprints
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"A guy seriously used the Joey Tribbiani 'How you doin'?' on me one time. It was weird." - Miranda
"You are the spitting image of my 12-year-old daughter." - @StephExpress
"I was working at a gas station and giving a guy some chicken and asked if he wanted sauce. He said, 'How about some you sauce?'" - Dani Olsen (@danikolsen)
"Wow, you are Big Bird!' said by a guy who was 5'2. I'm 5'9 and plus-size. I wanted to step on him, but decided to fly away." - Jeanne Prisyazhnaya (@jeannejourno)
"Someone at Webster Hall tried to pick me up with the line 'if you don't want to dance we can talk about death somewhere' and it ALMOST worked" - Carly Susman (@carlycarbonate)
"'You look like a young Miley Cyrus' ...said when Miley was 21-years-old." - Karie W.
"'You look like you taste good.' BARF BARF BARF." - Rachel Charlene Lewis (@rachelcharlenel)
"'Do you drink coffee in the morning?' Me: No. 'I have orange juice, want to try that?'" - Lydia R. (@TheLydiaRice)
"Do you come in a green bottle?...Because I'd sure like to mount 'n' do you." - @crosberg
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