That starts with good sex ed
, which, for me, means understanding that there is no one-size-fits-all model for sex and intimacy. It involves actively challenging the dominant sexual scripts we are all fed, shaped by our social location, our family, our culture, previous sexual experiences, and the media we consume, including porn
. Currently, many are taught heterosexist ideas of how cisgender men and cisgender women are supposed to act — myths that certain bodies are worthy of pleasure, while others are not; that men should always be up for sex, always be the sexual aggressor, and have multiple sexual partners. All while we teach women they should be passive, their pleasure should be predicated on what their partner enjoys, and they should refrain from expressions of sexual desire to ensure that they are never seen as a slut. Furthermore, the sexual experiences of 2SLGBTQIA people
like myself are hardly ever included in mainstream sex education.