Channing Tatum has discovered The Pattern app, and bewildered doesn’t even begin to cover his reaction. He posted his thoughts on Instagram and all but crashed the app as a result.
“I need some answers,” he begins. “What is this Pattern shit?” Tatum goes on to explain how the app asks users to put in their date of birth and birth time in order to assemble your astrological chart and offer insights into the patterns in the stars (and your life) that make you unique. “The Pattern is a social network that helps you better understand yourself and connect with others on a deeper level,” reads the description in Apple’s App Store.
In an ultimate Taurus move, Tatum stubbornly tries hard to make sense of why this app possibly knows him better than he knows himself. “How do you know what you know about me, Pattern?” he asks, staring directly into the camera. “People of The Pattern, you need to DM me right now and tell me how you know this stuff. I don’t even know if I want to know this stuff.”
Turns out, Tatum isn’t the only one who feels uncomfortably known by The Pattern. Users regularly hop on Twitter to talk about how this app tells them like it is.
After Tatum posted about The Pattern, anyone who hadn’t already been called out by the astrology app quickly hit download so they could also get spooked by its accuracy. However, once everyone started downloading it, the app stopped working. Some people call it Mercury in retrograde, others call it an overloaded server.
It didn’t take long for The Pattern app to respond to Tatum. “Thanks for letting us know you planned on crashing our servers today. We’ll be sliding into your dms shortly,” they commented on his post. We’re eagerly awaiting an update from Tatum on what they say. We’re hoping it’s just as vague but spookily accurate as the app itself.
Now, we just have to sit back and wait for Tatum’s entire reaction to be broken down into astrology memes for each of the signs.